Patterico's Pontifications

7/14/2009

The Gum Libel

Filed under: General — Karl @ 3:06 pm



[Posted by Karl]

Hamas says Israel dumping aphrodisiac gum on Gaza:

GAZA CITY (AFP) — Hamas suspects that Israeli intelligence services are supplying its Gaza Strip stronghold with chewing gum that boosts the sex drive in order to “corrupt the young,” an official said on Tuesday.

***

The story came to light after a Palestinian man filed a complaint that his daughter had experienced “dubious side effects” after chewing the offending gum, Israeli media reported.

The Israeli military declined to comment officially on the allegations, which one military source termed “absurd.”

Absurd, but durable — Yasser Arafat’s Palestinian Authority floated this story as far back as 1997.  And they lifted it from Egyptian tabloids in 1996.  For whatever reason, July is Zionist Sex Gum Month, in which the dastardly Joos try to pump up the population of those who wish to see Israel wiped off the map!

Here’s a little inspiration from Mary Katharine Ham to get the comments started.

–Karl

29 Responses to “The Gum Libel”

  1. Some stronghold! What are they doing, slipping the gum under the door?

    Icy Texan (43c637)

  2. Right! There was a story out there a few days ago about a Polish mom ready to sue an Egyptian hotel because her 15? year old daughter got pregnant from swimming in the hotel pool when they were on vacation there recently. The daughter was definitely not around any boys. SHE SWEARS!!!!

    daleyrocks (718861)

  3. Will ensuing riots be known as “pogums”?

    jd nyc (98f317)

  4. And, of course, you know that there’s nothing more that the Joos want than for their sworn enemies to be fruitful and multiply.

    Icy Texan (43c637)

  5. I happen to know for a fact that the aphrodisiac is made from the sex hormones exuded by pigs during rutting season and the gum itself is actually a gelatin made from boiling down dogs.

    nk (1e550c)

  6. “Help us Allah, for the evil Zionist pigs are trying to increase our youth’s libidos! Hassam Chop!”

    Dmac (e6d1c2)

  7. Wait for another appearance of self-hating Joooo AF/blah/sleepy/etc. in 3…2…1 to confirm this dastardly tale.

    daleyrocks (718861)

  8. Gotta have some bubble gum rock with this post:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BORbFsNjGAk

    daleyrocks (718861)

  9. I bet it was goatnut flavored gum.

    JD (7f75c9)

  10. I think PETA should intercede with Israel to stop this. Please, think of the camels.

    nk (1e550c)

  11. Really? How can I get some? :)

    The Emperor (1b037c)

  12. Lovie’s camel was already begging to be left alone.

    JD (7f75c9)

  13. Gives a whole new meaning to “Would you like a piece of Big Red?”

    Now that’s what I call Hubba Bubba.

    Four out of five jihadists surveyed recommend it.

    They would have put it in lollipops but the name “Blow Pop” was already taken.

    Okay, I’ll stop.

    jd nyc (98f317)

  14. I like the other jd

    JD (7f75c9)

  15. “I swear, Talia, it was the evil Jew-sex-gum that made me sleep with the entire Assyrian Suicide Squad.”

    Techie (482700)

  16. Comment by JD — 7/14/2009 @ 3:57 pm
    You are so impure, JD. Not just camels, goats too. :)

    The Emperor (1b037c)

  17. Good one, Techie

    JD (7f75c9)

  18. By definition, infidels are impure, lovie.

    JD (7f75c9)

  19. Infidels.

    The Emperor (1b037c)

  20. Gums, not Butter.

    Mitch (890cbf)

  21. Good grief, what is it with these people and their hangups about sex? This is one of the lamest things to come out of that region…but it’s a good way to justify any sort of dubious behavior and keep the world’s focus off the desperate plight of their people. It wouldn’t surprise me if more than a few of those desperate people facing the poverty, the corrupt leaders and the food shortages might just be praying this story really is true…

    Dana (57e332)

  22. Wow, it’s a good thing they have that steely Palestinian reserve going for them, especially of the Joooooosss! are bombing the with Hubba Burqua…

    But it might not be a bad strategic idea. I mean, if their noses are always open, they’ll only be interested in targeting a certain non-lethal kind of missle…

    Bob (99fc1b)

  23. It’s gotta be the evil jeenyus of Karl Rove at work. If the sex gum turns all those Palestinian womyn into dirty dirty whores, don’t the religious authorities have to behead them all? Then who’s going to wail at the funerals for the suicide bombers,huh? You can’t have a good Pallywood movie without people wailing. I’m thinking peace in our time in the Middle East if there’s nobody left to wail. Let some of those Flat Fatimas we saw in all that fauxtography from Labanon get their freak on and it’s all over BAYBEE!!!!

    daleyrocks (718861)

  24. If the sex gum turns all those Palestinian womyn into dirty dirty whores, don’t the religious authorities have to behead them all?

    Yes, but only after they’ve taken full advantage of them . Hideous effing bastards.

    Dana (57e332)

  25. Make Love, Not War!…

    “Report: Hamas accuses Israel of dumping ‘aphrodisiac’ gum on Gaza.”
    (H/T: Jose Guardia.)
    Update: Not surprisingly, Allahpundit is having lots of fun with this story. Here’s a sample:
    If Israel really does have chewing gum…

    Ed Driscoll (a3d746)

  26. If the evil Joooos really wanted to screw with the Pali’s libido’s, they would get some of that Popeye’s (or was it Church’s) fried chicken that made all of the Blacks in the Ghetto sterile…oh wait, that didn’t seem to work all that well.

    AD - RtR/OS! (1699eb)

  27. Hideous effing bastards

    Lest we not forget the El Supremo Douchebag Lying Hypocrite Yaaassir Arafat, who was not only a known pedophile and had a sham marriage, but also looted his own people out of hundreds of millions of dollars, safely esconsed in a Swiss Bank account, away from prying eyes. And this was (and still is) the Palestinian’s idea of a hero.

    Dmac (e6d1c2)

  28. The irrationality of the Palestinian culture has been the largest impediment to a resolution of the conflict. An irrationality that has actually been encouraged with the permanent refugee camps funded by the UN but filled with loony propaganda and controlled by terrorists.

    SPQR (2304cc)

  29. You wanna make their heads explode (y’know, without dynamite strapped to their waists)? Tell ’em it’s Freshen-up Gum — “The Gum That Goes Squirt” — from back in the ’70s and ’80s.

    Then show them this commercial. I didn’t “get it” when I was a kid, but boy, do I now. Ah, the days of subtlety in advertising.

    L.N. Smithee (a7967e)


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