Patterico's Pontifications


D. J. Gregory: A Walk Beyond Measurement

Filed under: Sports — DRJ @ 3:06 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

D. J. Gregory walked every hole of every 2008 PGA tournament, more than 900 miles. He started in January 2008 in Hawaii and ended in November 2008 at the PGA in Orlando. He blogged about it here.

It takes 12 minutes but I hope you can watch this video. It shows D. J. as he met daunting challenges, fulfilled his dream, and “left his footprints across an entire sport.”


31 Responses to “D. J. Gregory: A Walk Beyond Measurement”

  1. Thank you, DRJ, for that link. D.J. does my initials proud, and that had to be a fabulous experience. Being addicted to the Sport of Kings myself, what an experience that had to be.

    D.J. Gregory – my hat is off to you.

    JD (a0720d)

  2. I always was told that horse-racing was The Sport of Kings?

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  3. Was that really JD just having an Oiram moment with the DJ thing? Perhaps that would explain the mix up between golf and horse-racing. [just jesting, Oiram][feel free to call me an toidi]

    allan (681bdd)

  4. And here I thought war was the sport of kings. Of course, most of them were amatures.

    Soronel Haetir (a3f11b)

  5. Golf is the Sport of Kings. End of discussion.

    D.J. Gregory knows this.

    JD (a0720d)

  6. The only Kings I know who play golf are Hockey and Basketball Players.

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  7. I’m perfectly normal (physically, that is) and I don’t think I could do that. Bless his heart.

    jwarner (0a2a75)

  8. There is nothing more to say about this. I have read what I am going to say about this, and I will not be distracted.

    D.J. Gregoy is more of a man than Teh One could ever dream of being.

    JD (a0720d)

  9. There is nothing more to say about this. I have read what I am going to say about this, and I will not be distracted.

    Racist! I denounce you! 😀

    Paul (creator of "Staunch Brayer") (14d6a1)

  10. D.J. Gregoy is more of a man than Teh One could ever dream of being

    Strawman Alert!

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  11. That is not a strawman, AD. That is a simple statement of fact.

    JD (a0720d)

  12. That he may be, but I don’t think anyone wanted to argue the point; plus, I’m just having a little fun here with a devotee of the “Sport of Kings” (BTW, how’d you do at Aqueduct?).

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  13. I thought golf was the sport of people who wore kilts (because sheep can hear zippers).

    nk (a1896a)

  14. You guys are funny. Kilts are for freeballin’. That the goats cannot hear you coming is but an added bonus.

    JD (a0720d)

  15. My neighbor plays golf. And he insists on driving to it in his Triumph. Which he warms up for ten minutes just down from my bedroom window at 4:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings.

    nk (a1896a)

  16. Let’s keep it to sheep. I promised DRJ that I would stop goat references.

    nk (a1896a)

  17. It is amazing the things you can do to a Triumph with a paperclip, rubberband, and some string.

    JD (a0720d)

  18. Wife: How was your golf game, today?
    Husband: Don’t ask, my partner dropped dead at the eighth hole.
    Wife: Oh my God, that’s terrible!
    Husband: Tell me about it. It was pick him up, carry him, drop him, drive. Pick him up, carry him, drop him, putt. For ten holes!

    nk (a1896a)

  19. …and he still lost the Calcutta.

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  20. Man – I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife.
    Friend – Great trade !


    A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
    “Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball… stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. “That’s when I made my mistake.”

    “What did you do?” asks the doctor.

    “Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!”


    A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit….
    Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”
    Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here a long time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

    Man: “It’s been ten years!” With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.

    Man: “Oh thank you so much!”

    Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”

    Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.

    Man: “Oh… thank you so much. You are like a miracle!”

    Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] “So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?”

    Man: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there too?!”


    Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by. So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, ”Why did you do that?”
    The man replies, ”Well we were maried for almost 40 years. It’s the least I could do.”


    A guy goes golfing with his girlfriend. As he tees off, she steps into ladies’ teebox and gets hit in the head with his drive. She is pronounced D.O.A. and taken to the morgue.
    The coroner calls him in and says, “She definitely died from a blow to the head caused by the golf ball. But the only thing we can’t understand is why was there a golf ball in her rectum?”

    “Oh,” he replies, “that must have been my mulligan.”

    JD (a0720d)

  21. So, that’s what happened to Bill’s squeeze?

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  22. God, Jesus and JD are playing golf up in heaven. On the first tee, JD leads off and hits a big blast right down the gut; it rolls to a stop about 275 yards out, perfect lie. Jesus steps up next and kills the ball, sending it about 300 yards straight away, perfect lie.
    God steps up and waggles and wiggles and then badly hooks his ball into the trees. As it flies in, a huge oak is struck by lightning and splits, one half falling into the path of the oncoming ball and knocking it into the fairway. As it comes to a rest, a bare 50 yards out, a squirrel darts out of the woods on the other side and grabs the ball and takes off towards the left-side woods. Before he gets in, an eagle swoops down and grabs the squirrel, carrying it aloft down the fairway. Just as it passes over the green, the eagle is pelted by hailstones, whereupon it drops the squirrel (still clutching the ball) onto the green about three feet from the hole. Dazed, the squirrel spits the ball out where it rolls up and stops on the lip of the cup. Suddenly there is an earthquake! The ball drops in… hole in one!

    Jesus stares at JD with a pissed look, then turns to God and says: “Dad? We gonna play golf, or are you just gonna mess around?”

    JD (a0720d)

  23. Uncle!

    AD - RtR/OS! (6a6a3b)

  24. I second AD. We need a rule for golf jokes. Strictly from memory. No cutting and pasting from Google.

    nk (a1896a)

  25. Every Saturday morning JD gets up early to catch his morning tee time and spend the day playing golf.

    One Saturday morning, as is his schedule, he gets up early, eats a quick breakfast and heads out to the course. The weather is terrible; there’s a torrential downpour with snow mixing in and a 50 mph wind.

    Defeated, he comes back into the house and turns the TV on to the weather channel, which informs him it’s only going to get worse. He puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses, then slips back into bed with his wife. “The weather out there is terrible,” he whispers.

    “Yeah,” she replies, “can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing?”

    JD (a0720d)

  26. A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”

    The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”

    The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

    “Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

    “Tiger Woods.”

    “Tiger Woods the golfer?”


    “Well he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.”

    The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

    “What are you doing?” asks his wife.

    The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food.”

    “Tiger wouldn’t do that!” she claims.

    “Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

    “He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

    The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

    “What are you doing?” she asks.

    The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to call room service to get some food.”

    “Tiger wouldn’t do that,” again she claims.

    “Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

    “He’d come back to bed and do it a third time.”

    The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

    The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

    “No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this damn hole!”

    JD (a0720d)

  27. I will quit … ;-(

    JD (a0720d)

  28. Lo siento, amigas and amigos. :-)

    JD (a0720d)

  29. Ok, that was good, JD!

    nk (a1896a)

  30. Thanks. Tiger Woods has some great one liners …

    Tiger and Charles Barkley were playing golf together one afternoon. Barkley hits a drive further than he has ever struck a ball in his entire life. Tiger proceeds to hit his drive well past Barkley.

    After they arrive at Barkley’s drive, Tiger says, “Did you hear about that new Super Target they are building?”.

    Barkley says, “No. Where?”.

    Tiger says, “Between your drive and mine”.

    JD (a0720d)

  31. My all-time favorite commercial …

    Thank you, DRJ. I just wasted 30 minutes of my life watching youtube clips of outtakes from Tiger Woods commercials. Better Half is mad at me and I am not even on the golf course.

    JD (a0720d)

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