Patterico's Pontifications


Perry Mason Arrested

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 11:05 pm

For unauthorized practice of law:

A Houston man named Perry Mason was arrested on Tuesday, accused of the unauthorized practice of law, officials at the Harris County District Attorney’s office said.

Assistant District Attorney Hamilton Burger said the 43-year-old faces the death penalty if convicted. Della Street could not be reached for comment.

OK, I made up the second paragraph. But the first one is genuine.

18 Responses to “Perry Mason Arrested”

  1. You youngsters don’t know what I’m talking about — do you?

    Patterico (cc3b34)

  2. This old f**t does. Sigh.

    Machinist (c5fc28)

  3. Don’t worry. All Mr Mason needs to do is hire Matlock, and everything will work out in the end…

    Also, all you people are old. :)

    Scott Jacobs (90ff96)

  4. Seeing how this is TX, perhaps a taste of prairie populism would be in order….
    he should hire “Petrocelli”.

    AD - RtR/OS (283df4)

  5. You are old if you have read the books. I’ve read them all. Gardner also wrote a DA series of books,
    and the Cool and Lam books under the name A A Fair.

    Hazy (4e0dda)

  6. Now, you know who he should hire?

    This guy…

    Scott Jacobs (90ff96)

  7. In the DA books the DA was the clever hero, and the defense attorney was a sleeze bag. A good read all.

    Hazy (4e0dda)

  8. Actually, I was worried that this might be a Raymond Burr story…

    EW1(SG) (e27928)

  9. First in with:

    “Get Paul Drake on the phone”

    Born Free (6672c6)

  10. I think he needs Nora and Nick Charles…

    MunDane68 (54a83b)

  11. UPL is one of my favorite crimes for entertainment factor, but it is a pretty perilous thing to do to others.

    Perry Mason was the name of my instructor at the Non Commissioned Officers Academy many years ago. But he was a New Yorker.

    Juan (4cdfb7)

  12. EW: A spokesman for Godzilla denied all allegations of involvement, citing a lack of Tokyo Harbor.

    PCachu (e072b7)

  13. Naw, Hamilton Burger is working busily away at the secret job he’s had for years: strategic genius in charge of prosecuting celebrities in Los Angeles County. He may be forced into retirement now, though–some are whispering that the Spector case indicates that he’s lost his touch.

    M. Scott Eiland (5ccff0)

  14. I thought Ham Burger was on the Supreme Court! Oh, wait, maybe that was Frank N Furter. I’m so confused.

    Kevin Murphy (805c5b)

  15. Frank N Furter is not really on the Supreme Court but he does have one of those cool robes.

    Pat Patterson (f44efe)

  16. Yeah, I used to watch the old Perry Mason shows. Did Mr Berger ever win a case?

    In a country this size, there’s got to be someone out there named Hamilton Berger, trying — probably in vain — to get into law school, so he can become a Los Angeles County prosecutor.

    The old Dana (3e4784)

  17. No, Mr Patterson, you were thinking of the Hamburglar, against whom a Los Angeles County prosecutor, probably in Compton, is trying to build a case.

    The Dana who sometimes eats at McDonald's™ (3e4784)

  18. You’re a hot dog,
    But you’d better not try
    To hurt her,
    Frank Furter!

    — Brad Majors

    The Criminologist (3e4784)

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