Patterico's Pontifications


Mentally Handicapped Man Challenges Obama to Contest: Who Can Do a Better Job Running the Country?

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 4:26 pm

[Warning: this is your official satire alert.]

In the wake of President Obama’s refusal to respond to a Special Olympian’s challenge to a bowling match, another mentally handicapped individual has upped the ante.

Yesterday Kolan McConiughey, a Special Olympics competitor with a bowling average of 266, challenged Obama to a bowling contest — a challenge to which the White House responded: “no comment.”

Today, has learned that another mentally handicapped man, Cyrus Bennett of Great Neck, NY, has issued a new challenge: he says he can do a better job running the country than Obama.

“Some people think that mentally handcapped people can’t function, but I function a lot better than this guy,” Mr. Bennett told in an exclusive interview. “My IQ may be lower than par golf, but even I know that you can’t play U.S. DVDs in England.”

“Let’s see,” Bennett said. “The Dow has cratered since this guy was elected, he’s arranging bonuses for AIG executives who took billions of our taxpayer dollars due to their incompetence, and he’s underestimating his deficits by trillions.” Bennett added: “If I’m even $5 off at the McDonald’s register at the end of my shift, they’ll fire my ass — and I’ve worked there for 15 years. Who do you think is better qualified to run the government?”

“Look, I dress myself, I drive my car to work, and I work eight hours a day at a responsible job,” Bennett said. “And if I nominated someone to be the Treasury Secretary, I’d make sure he had paid his taxes. You don’t need a triple-digit IQ to figure that one out.”

Bennett added that he’s a better bowler than Obama, too. “That’s not saying much,” he snickered. “There’s a lot of things I can do better than that guy,” he said.

“Look, my IQ may be a few points lower than Obama’s, but I’m not a complete imbecile,” Bennett told, adding: “Technically, my cousin Joey is — and even he could do a better job than this moron.”

One Response to “Mentally Handicapped Man Challenges Obama to Contest: Who Can Do a Better Job Running the Country?”

  1. This is an attempt at de-escalation of a conflict that has arisen with another blogger. There used to be comments here. They were very unpleasant. I have taken those comments offline, by publishing a new post with the same content, and putting the old post in “unpublished” status.

    The intent is not to hide evidence, but to de-escalate. The comments can be restored at any time. If anyone wants to say that I’m hiding evidence, I can restore the previous comments at a moment’s notice — and take whatever other action is necessary.

    The other party and I will never agree on the nature of what happened. Each will always consider themselves to be the more wronged party. I suggest we forget it and move on.

    My suggestion for going forward would be that the other blogger and I simply refrain from talking about each other personally in the future. I suggest that we discuss ideas, and be as forceful as ever in discussing those ideas — but never mention the other person by name, and never, ever attack the other person’s integrity, sanity, etc. This means neither of us should suggest, even in an offhand manner in a comments thread, that this episode ended because I Was Really the Guy in the Right, that The Other Guy Just Couldn’t Handle the Argument, that We All Know I Was Winning the Argument, etc. A comment like: “Well, commenter x, I’d agree with you that I won, but I’m not allowed to say that” or “I think we know why those comments were deleted” or “Let’s just remember that blogger x did this dishonorable thing” or anything like that will inevitably lead to a re-escalation, which will benefit nobody.

    Again, the evidence remains. I can always restore these comments and take whatever other steps I need to take to make my case. In the meantime, I consider this my effort to de-escalate, and I would hope it would be reciprocated in kind.

    Patterico (921be1)

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