[Warning: this is your official satire alert.]
In the wake of President Obama’s refusal to respond to a Special Olympian’s challenge to a bowling match, another mentally handicapped individual has upped the ante.
Yesterday Kolan McConiughey, a Special Olympics competitor with a bowling average of 266, challenged Obama to a bowling contest — a challenge to which the White House responded: “no comment.”
Today, Patterico.com has learned that another mentally handicapped man, Cyrus Bennett of Great Neck, NY, has issued a new challenge: he says he can do a better job running the country than Obama.
“Some people think that mentally handcapped people can’t function, but I function a lot better than this guy,” Mr. Bennett told Patterico.com in an exclusive interview. “My IQ may be lower than par golf, but even I know that you can’t play U.S. DVDs in England.”
“Let’s see,” Bennett said. “The Dow has cratered since this guy was elected, he’s arranging bonuses for AIG executives who took billions of our taxpayer dollars due to their incompetence, and he’s underestimating his deficits by trillions.” Bennett added: “If I’m even $5 off at the McDonald’s register at the end of my shift, they’ll fire my ass — and I’ve worked there for 15 years. Who do you think is better qualified to run the government?”
“Look, I dress myself, I drive my car to work, and I work eight hours a day at a responsible job,” Bennett said. “And if I nominated someone to be the Treasury Secretary, I’d make sure he had paid his taxes. You don’t need a triple-digit IQ to figure that one out.”
Bennett added that he’s a better bowler than Obama, too. “That’s not saying much,” he snickered. “There’s a lot of things I can do better than that guy,” he said.
“Look, my IQ may be a few points lower than Obama’s, but I’m not a complete imbecile,” Bennett told Patterico.com, adding: “Technically, my cousin Joey is — and even he could do a better job than this moron.”