Patterico's Pontifications

1/8/2009

Man, the Onion Is Hilarious

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:40 am

The Onion reports:

Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

Read it all. Brilliant.

UPDATE: Holy crap! That’s not the Onion! That’s CNN!

30 Comments

  1. You know, just one story like this is worth a thousand articles bemoaning the nationalization of our economy.

    Comment by nk who agrees with Hillary that ridicule is the most potent weapon of the anarchist — 1/8/2009 @ 6:47 am

  2. this brings new meaning to the comment “we’re screwed.”…………..

    Comment by redc1c4 — 1/8/2009 @ 6:57 am

  3. Hey, what do you expect: times are, er, hard.

    Comment by The sarcastic Dana — 1/8/2009 @ 7:00 am

  4. And I thought you were going to talk about this:

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/32389_Onion-_Apples_Revolutionary_New_Laptop#rss

    I hope the links works. From LGF

    Comment by Dan F — 1/8/2009 @ 7:41 am

  5. Oh my goodness this is ridiculous! Apparently it never occured to the people in this industry that the recession may just be good for the sex drive. When you can’t afford to go out all the time and can’t afford your normal distractions there’s always sex…generally speaking its free. Or is that what these people are really worrying about? People will no longer need the adult entertainment industry as much because we’ll all be too busy actually having real sex. I predict the next baby boom is coming as we get back to basics with good old fashioned real sex caused by this current economic turmoil….and may the next round of boomers be conservative!

    Comment by DisgustedinCali — 1/8/2009 @ 7:53 am

  6. SAVE OUR STIFFIES!!!!

    Comment by daleyrocks — 1/8/2009 @ 8:19 am

  7. Imagine how tough it is to work for The Onion these days. There’s so much competition from reality.

    Comment by Karl — 1/8/2009 @ 8:32 am

  8. Larry Flynt is to be congratulated for such fine satire. I hope he really sticks it to Congress.

    Comment by Kevin Murphy — 1/8/2009 @ 8:40 am

  9. You know who’s behind this? Bill Clinton. I can’t prove it, but I know it’s true.

    Comment by Official Internet Data Office — 1/8/2009 @ 9:27 am

  10. OIDO,

    What’s your reasoning? Billy needs no help getting it up. There’s one thing he likes and he does not need Larry Flynt’s models to surround it, judging by the women he has consorted with. A taco likely sends him into terminal priapism.

    Comment by nk who knows a p***y hound when he sees one — 1/8/2009 @ 9:40 am

  11. Comment by nk who knows a p***y hound when he sees one — 1/8/2009 @ 9:40 am
    Would that be a hard, or soft, taco?

    Comment by AD — 1/8/2009 @ 9:59 am

  12. That’s not where I was going with that comment, but to be realistic, Bill Clinton is 62 years old and has had a triple bypass operation. Do the math.

    Comment by Official Internet Data Office — 1/8/2009 @ 10:00 am

  13. Would that be a hard, or soft, taco?

    Makes no difference.

    Comment by nk who knows a p***y hound when he sees one — 1/8/2009 @ 10:08 am

  14. OIDO, 1 + 1 = ELEVENTY!!!

    You of all people should know this.

    Comment by Pablo — 1/8/2009 @ 10:08 am

  15. Ok, OIDO, I get it. He likes it every which way, in pictures, too. I wholeheartedly can agree with that.

    Comment by nk — 1/8/2009 @ 10:15 am

  16. Well, maybe the porno industry is just hard up.

    Sorry. I denounce myself.

    Comment by Mike K — 1/8/2009 @ 11:04 am

  17. One can only picture the sort of “jobs” that might result from this kind of stimulus…

    Comment by JSinAZ — 1/8/2009 @ 11:21 am

  18. When the MSM say they have layers and layers of fact-checking, maybe that’s just code for saying that they’re the same as The Onion now. Peelers of the world, unite!

    Comment by ras — 1/8/2009 @ 12:30 pm

  19. Pablo, 1 + 1 = eleven! 1 + 1 + 0 = eleventy. Please make a note of it.

    Comment by Dana the math genius — 1/8/2009 @ 12:38 pm

  20. ras wrote:

    When the MSM say they have layers and layers of fact-checking . . .

    Unfortunately, you left out two w’s (or would that be one quadruple u?).

    When the MSM say they have lawyers and lawyers of fact-checking

    Fixed it for you. You may now continue.

    Comment by The nitpicking Dana — 1/8/2009 @ 12:42 pm

  21. When the MSM say they have layers and layers of fact-checking, maybe that’s just code for saying that they’re the same as The Onion now.

    You know what else has layers? Parfaits.

    Comment by Scott Jacobs — 1/8/2009 @ 12:44 pm

  22. The sex workers will get paid for laying down on the job – just like auto workers!

    Comment by Perfect Sense — 1/8/2009 @ 12:55 pm

  23. Ahh but what will a bailout of the porn industry mean for Obama’s new “Chief Performance Officer.”

    Comment by CStudent — 1/8/2009 @ 3:30 pm

  24. Ahh but what will a bailout of the porn industry mean for Obama’s new “Chief Performance Officer.”

    That job title has all SORTS of new meanings in that light…

    Comment by Scott Jacobs — 1/8/2009 @ 3:52 pm

  25. I just saw a porn film, and I agree they need a bailout. None of the actors could even afford clothes! Come on, people, where’s the compassion?

    Comment by Patricia — 1/8/2009 @ 4:36 pm

  26. We’ve already had 25 comments in this thread on this topic and, remarkably, no one has used the phrase “stimulus package.”

    And you call yourselves commenters?

    Comment by Official Internet Data Office — 1/8/2009 @ 7:05 pm

  27. And you call yourselves commenters?

    I was modestly avoiding this thread yet giggling my way through the comments – a whole bunch of apparently unintentional double-entendres….heh.

    Comment by Dana — 1/8/2009 @ 7:15 pm

  28. [...] on the proposed newspaper bailout and even Joe Francis’ and Larry Flynt’s suggested porn industry bailout, so who knows, maybe the sky really is the [...]

    Pingback by Common Sense Political Thought » Blog Archive » Bailouts for everybody! — 1/9/2009 @ 7:38 am

  29. What criteria should we use for fluffing for industries? Should the oil industry, for example, really get special treatment for so many dollars and so many years over an industry that really deserves it?

    Comment by Dave Affeld — 1/10/2009 @ 1:36 am

  30. Hey, it’s Dave Affeld!! I know you.

    Comment by Patterico — 1/10/2009 @ 1:53 am

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