Patterico's Pontifications


A Get Well Card

Filed under: Real Life — DRJ @ 1:18 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

To JD, who is under the weather.

Always remember my 5 rules for a happy life.


53 Responses to “A Get Well Card”

  1. Get Well Soon, JD

    You racist!

    Icy Truth (aedb2f)

  2. I hope you get well, JD, so we can denounce you. :)

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  3. Get well soon, you bilious gallstoneist!

    nk (5fa892)

  4. Get well soon, JD.

    Steverino (69d941)

  5. On behalf of cholelithiatics everywhere, I hereby denounce gall bladder disease.

    Although the drugs are fun.

    And for that, I denounce myself.

    Get your ass back here soon, JD.

    EW1(SG) (da07da)

  6. I hope to see you back here soon, JD. Take care.

    Stu707 (7fb2e7)

  7. JD is telling nurse stories, or maybe it’s Dilaudid stories, at the Protein Wisdom link. Be sure to drop in over there. It’s JD as his usual best.

    DRJ (a50047)

  8. No time in the hospital is good, but I hope you get well soon.

    Oh yeah – wacist!

    Dmac (e30284)

  9. Ouch! Get well soon, JD!

    htom (412a17)

  10. A friend had his gall bladder rupture – he said it was some of the worst pain you could imagine.

    That being said, WALK IT OFF, YOU RACIST WIMP!

    I hope everything goes well and you have a speedy recovery, JD.

    Apogee (366e8b)

  11. JD, I certainly hope you get well soon. Amazing, you take enough Dilaudid and you really believe your nurses Diesel and Ratchet are hot. Those are some serious drugs!

    Dana (79a78b)

  12. Thanks, everyone. Especially DRJ, who provided me much in the way of good advise.

    Apogee – Your friend was not exaggerating. It hurt so bad I puked.

    I have my second surgery tomorrow at 8 AM, and could be home on Wednesday.

    JD (5f0e11)

  13. I would assume it’s a laproscopy – if so, that’s a big improvement over two decades ago. Good luck.

    Dmac (e30284)

  14. Gall bladder? Must be all of the trolls on this site that caused it……… either that or McCain losing……. oh wait I know it’s G. Dubya’s fault!

    Get better JD……… your the best of the worst, you damn racist!

    Oiram (983921)

  15. JD – Just remember that those nurses you are imagining are hot are around patients with infectious communicable diseases all day long if you get any bright ideas. If you get any truly brilliant ideas, I’m sure Better Half is probably around someplace to whip your bitter clinging ass back in shape.

    daleyrocks (5d22c0)

  16. Just remember that those nurses you are imagining are hot are around patients with infectious communicable diseases all day long if you get any bright ideas.

    Also, you’re probably pretty high on powerful narcotic painkillers, so your judgement as to what’s hot could be a little off. :)

    Scott Jacobs (90ff96)

  17. Don’t forget to call the surgeon a racist and denounce the anesthesiologist.

    Pablo (99243e)

  18. Ode to a gallstone (in haiku):

    Miserable lump
    Of hardened cholesterol
    Knives and morphine

    nk (5fa892)

  19. And BTW, JD, make sure the doctors give you all your gallstones. They’re worth their weight in gold, literally, in China. About $900.00/troy ounce. Market them right and your operation could pay for itself.

    (And I really hate the comment server, tonight. Is it just me, or is everybody on a time delay?)

    nk (5fa892)

  20. It’s the comments. I emailed Patterico about it.

    DRJ (a50047)

  21. Try not to denounce the surgical staff until after tomorrow’s operation.

    DRJ (a50047)

  22. Daleyrocks and Scott will not be able to diminish my enjoyment.

    JD (5f0e11)

  23. DRJ – I am going to denounce someone tomorrow. I can aoways blame it on the drugs. When I had my back surgery, I proposed to the anasthesiologist and flirted with the nurse up to the point where I went under.

    JD (5f0e11)

  24. What are the 5 rules?

    Lily (9d9b60)

  25. JD – I proposed to the anasthesiologist and flirted with the nurse up to the point where I went under.

    And both of them were male.
    They certainly didn’t skimp on the drugs.

    Here’s to you, JD.
    NSFW (Not safe for wife)

    Apogee (366e8b)

  26. Damn spam filter! Help me DRJ, Help me!

    Apogee (366e8b)

  27. JD, good luck with that surgery tomorrow. All the nurses look better on your back.

    cfbleachers (fa3a27)

  28. JD knows the 5 rules and he can share them if he wants.

    DRJ (a50047)

  29. Share them! Share them!

    Patterico (cc3b34)

  30. Take care, JD, and get well soon.

    And I double dog denounce you!

    With great affection, though, one wacist to another.

    Patricia (ee5c9d)

  31. JD!
    I’m so sad you aren’t feeling well. That just isn’t allowed.
    Do you want me to find some good photo links, the kind you like so much?


    MayBee (995268)

  32. Get well soon JD

    voiceofreason2 (95ad10)

  33. “Don’t forget to call the surgeon a racist and denounce the anesthesiologist.”

    JD – Better yet, if they’re obviously ferriners, call them illegal aliens. If one of them is wearing a turban, ask him why he is wearing a diaper on his head. That goes over big. Trust me on this.

    daleyrocks (5d22c0)

  34. Patterico – The 5 Rules For Happiness

    1) It is important to have a woman that helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans the house, and has a job.

    2) It is important to have a woman that makes you laugh.

    3) It is important to have a woman that you trust and does not lie to you.

    4) It is important to have a woman that makes love to you, and loves to be with you.

    5) And it is very, very, very important that those 4 women never meet each other.

    JD (5f0e11)

  35. So I was reading those rules—yours, DRJ?!–one at a time, and was getting all sentimental. Then I got to Rule #5 (again, not expecting it from DRJ) and nearly blew a brandy out my nose onto the keyboard.

    Nice joke!

    JD, get well soon.

    And I denounce your gallstone segregationist attitude. There needs to be a affirmative gallstone program!

    Eric Blair (8f93a0)

  36. Hey, Guy! Sorry to hear about your troubles (this is what happens when you take trolls like lovie too seriously).
    Get Well, we all miss you.
    BTW, if we ever do that lunch thing, don’t bring that jar of stones.
    Some Show & Tells don’t need to be done.

    I denounce myself!

    Another Drew (69f893)

  37. #35 Eric Blair:

    Nice joke!

    Joke? Who the hell is joking?

    EW1(SG) (4e79e5)

  38. Eric – I can pucture you as a brandy guy, while smoking a pipe.

    AD – New job is going to have me travelling much more.

    JD (5f0e11)

  39. My abolity to be coherent is rapidly declining. Good night, all.

    JD (5f0e11)

  40. JD, I don’t know about livers, but a friend had his gall bladder removed about 15 years ago and he eats regular food, works, plays, and seems to get along just fine. Follow your Doctor’s instructions, don’t try to rush the healing process and you should be fine too. Best wishes for a full recovery.

    PS: Be especially careful for the first few days after they withdraw the potent drugs. It’s an eye-opener, so take it easy and roll with the punch.

    Ropelight (5b609a)

  41. JD, good luck today.

    I need the brandy while I grade papers at night. Okay, “need” is a strong term.

    I had a student yesterday who was annoyed I deducted some points from his term paper (less than 10%). He didn’t spell check. He inserted blocks of quoted text in a term paper he was supposed to write himself (a freshman mistake from a senior). He refused to staple the paper when he turned it in. He didn’t reference as I assigned. And the paper was much longer than the posted requirements.

    So he got annoyed with me, and tried to get all Y chromosomal about it.

    I asked him how often he filled out tax forms. You don’t have to like formatting rules, but you do have to follow them.

    Even if we have tenure (I do not, and am doubly vulnerable), we need to respond to student judgments—even when they are, ah, not well considered. But I don’t think we do the students any favors by going all “fluffy bunny” and “SNAG” (sensitive new age guy/gal) on them.

    Life isn’t like that. It’s lots rougher than college.

    Hence the brandy.

    Again, fingers and toes crossed that things go well.

    Heck, maybe you will get a sponge bath!

    Okay, I denounce myself.

    Eric Blair (8f93a0)

  42. Thanks for all of the well wishes. Surgery went well. They found one ginormous gallstone, and several small ones that the surgeon said resembled sea urchins. The little ones had perforated the gall bladder. Plus, the first time in, on Saturday, the surgeon accidentally nicked the common bile duct, so I had to fight off an infection with nuclear strength antibiotics. I got to come home this evening, which is either 2 1/2 days late, or a day early, depending how you look at it.

    At any rate, I am good as I could ask for. I have 4 puncture-type wounds in my abdominal cavity, and an incision in my belly button. I am actually in less pain now than prior to the operation, but I suspect that is going to change once the IV painkillers wear off and I transition to pills.

    JD (bda7e2)

  43. They inflated a balloon inside your belly to give them access. That’s where most of the soreness will come from. You might find that a common anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen, 600 mgs/4hrs, works very well for you — unless you’re still in danger of bleeding in which case stay with the Vicodin.

    nk (5fa892)

  44. Glad you’re home and on the way to recovery. Sleep and heal.

    m (136934)

  45. I guess staying with the nurse who has the morphine is out of the question.

    DRJ (8b9d41)

  46. Happy everything went well and you’re OK!
    Get Well, and commence denouncing!

    Another Drew (5dfa66)

  47. Glad it worked out. Heal up well. But I have to say, I am disappointed in your species-ist use of antibiotics. Those microbes are a living thing, and just trying to survive.

    Typical multicellular chauvinism.

    But I won’t denounce you for it. You need to heal up!

    Seriously, get well soon!

    Eric Blair (0b61b2)

  48. Glad you’re ok and hope for a speedy return to your racist ways.

    Apogee (186a12)

  49. That’s good news that that’s all done. Gall bladders heal very quickly once you get the stones out and such. I just made that up really but that’s the thought I want to leave you with anyways.

    happyfeet (5836ae)

  50. oh. either that or they just removed the whole thinger didn’t they so there’s no healing of the little gall bladder involved. ok. That last comment is a lot inoperative. The new comment is that after you get your gall bladder out all your other senses improve is what I heard. You’ll probably have like superpowers and stuff now.

    happyfeet (5836ae)

  51. Jd? good to hear. I know we don’t know each other and all? But I was pulling for ya (and praying) all the way.

    Blitz (ce69ff)

  52. Glad you’re home and resting. Get well soon.

    Vermont Neighbor (5ea336)

  53. I expect JD to be back ritually denouncing on several blogs soon.

    BJTexs (56337a)

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