Patterico's Pontifications

11/19/2008

Cheney Indicted in Clearly Bogus Indictment; Sullivan Wets His Pants with Excitement

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 7:07 am



[Welcome to readers of Andrew Sullivan, or as he was known when he posted ads seeking promiscuous gay sex, RAWMUSLGLUTES. Link is not work-safe. This fact is amusing because he was simultaneously denouncing promiscuous gay sex. But then, he has always been a stinking hypocrite. My response to his dishonest claims of deadpan humor is here.]

Yesterday, Andrew Sullivan wrote a post that said, in essence: ZOMG CHENEY FINALLY INDICTED I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG OH THERE IS A GOD!

Here is his entire post:

Cheney Indicted

For abuse of prisoners. And some don’t believe God exists.

Calm down, Excitable Andy. Let’s listen to what lefty Steve Benen says about this TREMENDOUS NEWS over at the Washington Monthly:

At first blush, the headline looked pretty extraordinary: “Texas Grand Jury Indicts Cheney, Gonzales on Charges Related to Prisons.” Wait, Dick Cheney’s been indicted? It sounded too good to be true, in large part because it is.

. . . .

The AP report noted that the indictments “have not yet been signed by the presiding judge, and no action can be taken on them until that happens.” And that, of course, is unlikely to ever happen.

The prosecutor in question is Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra, who’s apparently developed a reputation for being something of a … how do I put this gently … legal eccentric. A lawyer for Democratic state Sen. Eddie Lucio, Jr., who is also charged in the Cheney/Gonzales indictment, called Guerra a “one man circus.”

. . . .

I don’t doubt there are many Bush administration detractors who’d be thrilled to see Cheney and Gonzales get indicted, but this probably isn’t a development to get excited about.

Unless you’re Andrew Sullivan, who takes as true any development unfavorable to Republicans, no matter how freaking wild it sounds.

This is why people mock you, Sullivan. Because you’re a shrieking, hysterical, gullible moron.

And that’s me pulling my punches.

UPDATE: Sullivan now says he meant to do that! Mr. Trig Trutherism was just being ironic, he says. Suuuure.

97 Responses to “Cheney Indicted in Clearly Bogus Indictment; Sullivan Wets His Pants with Excitement”

  1. Watching Sullivan react to Obama’s adoption of Boooshian policies and practices will bring me no end of enjoyment over the next two years.

    At which point Sullivan will have that nervous breakdown he’s been building towards and cease blogging to open that think tank/t-shirt shop that P-town so desperately needs.

    BumperStickerist (cc05c3)

  2. Oh, I don’t think that Mr. Sullivan is wetting his pants, exactly. Not in the sense you mean it.

    Sorry, but it needed to be said.

    Eric Blair (0b61b2)

  3. Shouldn’t his nickname be something more up to date at this point – like, say – Mr. Iron Glutes?

    Dmac (e30284)

  4. Geez, don’t the legal folks in DC have anything better to do than pursue a case like this? What a sad testament to our society and its pursuit of frivolous lawsuits. These members of the leftist illuminati need to be reviewed and possibly disbarred.

    Jeff (967130)

  5. Our esteemed host pulled his punches:

    This is why people mock you, Sullivan. Because you’re a shrieking, hysterical, gullible moron.

    Yeah, that’s really pulling your punches.
    It’s amazing how someone can take their own good reputation, and totally trash it.

    The amused Dana (3e4784)

  6. Andy wetting his pants?

    Is this what it means by the waters receding in the Atlantic?

    cfbleachers (1f4df1)

  7. Can I write the first “juror” article on the media sacrificing their reputation at the altar of hyperpartisanship?

    Can we submit topics or would we submit proposed articles?

    cfbleachers (1f4df1)

  8. Yawn.

    Techie (62bc5d)

  9. Watching Sullivan react to Obama’s adoption of Boooshian policies and practices will bring me no end of enjoyment over the next two years.

    Why do you think Sullivan would be unhappy? He supported Bush when Bush was acting like Bush.

    Sullivan has a permanent man-crush on Barack Obama. That’s the only thing you need to know in order to predict how Sullivan will treat unfolding developments.

    Daryl Herbert (4ecd4c)

  10. Check out Shelby Steele’s comment on NRO’s “The Corner” this morning. It explains a lot about Andrew Sullivan and many other people. I think, anyway.

    Eric Blair (0b61b2)

  11. Explain to me again why Sullivan is relevant?

    Perfect Sense (9d1b08)

  12. Why do you think Sullivan would be unhappy? He supported Bush when Bush was acting like Bush.

    Don’t agree with that, but I think that anything Obama says will be seen as utter GENIUS to the left, and will be Fresh and New and full of Hopey-Changitude, even if he reads directly from prior Bush speeches.

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  13. All I could find on this last night was that it related to Cheney’s investments in the The Vanguard Group which in turn had investments in the former Wackenhut Co., a prison management company. Going on that, I’m assuming they are after Cheney based on investments in a professionally managed mutual fund over which he exercises absolutely no control which is probably in a blind trust for his benefit. Sounds like he is a monster based on that theory. I wonder whether Ronnie Earle was advising.

    daleyrocks (5d22c0)

  14. If what daleyrocks says is true, then maybe Mr. Cheney should have stuck to cattle futures…

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  15. This is the local DA in Willacy County, Juan Angel Guerra, who is one piece of work. He, himself, was indicted last year. He has no jurisdiction over federal officials performing federal functions.

    As for Willacy County, itself, it sounds like it needs a company of Texas Rangers to go in and clean it out with firehoses.

    nk (2e727e)

  16. It’s my understanding that the president/vice-president/congressman can’t be indicted/tried/convicted for official actions taken in performance of duty. The only thing that could be done would be impeachment/trail/removal from office.

    The lawyer bringing the case is a dolt, the grand jury delivering the indictment is a collective dolt. We don’t yet know if the judge is a dolt.

    jm (cf3ddf)

  17. The funny thing is, if you asked him to rate Bush on a scale of 1 to 10 every day he was in office his overall rating would probably be about where mine would be, and probably a lot of other people on this site. It’s just that Sully had Bush at a 10 from 01 to 03, about a 4 or 5 from 04 to 05 and a 0 from 06 on. And who is he rating a 10 right now? Oh yeah, the Messiah. Mark my words, when Obama fails to calm the oceans and cause the earth to heal Sully will turn on him with a vengeance.

    Sean P (4e644b)

  18. Remember, any DA that’s not brain dead can indict a ham sandwich for anything. Really nothing to see here.

    BigFire (194640)

  19. The lawyer bringing the case is a dolt, the grand jury delivering the indictment is a collective dolt. We don’t yet know if the judge is a dolt.

    Remember, any DA that’s not brain dead can indict a ham sandwich for anything. Really nothing to see here.

    Or if they ARE brain dead. Did Grand Jury duty once (very cool, I recommend the experience) and I think we failed to vote a true bill maybe 3 times out of 4 days (every Wed. for a month).

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  20. Sullivan is the Ted Rall of bad prose.

    Just as one eventually, necessarily quit paying attention to Rall (by, say, 2002), it’s long past time to stop giving Sullivan any of the attention he so greatly craves.

    (I know: You agree he’s contemptible but argue, somewhat persuasively, that it’s important to debunk him anyway because so many on the left still follow him and sometimes still cite him as a Christian/Catholic and/or conservative. It’s a close call, but I think turning one’s back is better.)

    Mitch (890cbf)

  21. It’s a close call, but I think turning one’s back is better.

    No! Don’t do that!

    nk (2e727e)

  22. I think the concept of “shunning” is in order –
    safer too!

    Another Drew (a9b92d)

  23. nk,

    Yes, permit me to rephrase … !

    Mitch (890cbf)

  24. Honestly,

    I don’t have anything against insane, middle-aged, gay guys …

    and I don’t ever want to.

    nk (2e727e)

  25. hmmm…. maybe Guerra can look into getting Obama’s original birth certificate info unsealed and all the rest of the stuff that he has refused to release before his coronation (i mean election)

    ruby (89a72d)

  26. A prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich if he wants to. Most of them have more sense, though.

    mojo (8096f2)

  27. “…it needs a company of Texas Rangers to …clean it out …”
    Comment by nk — 11/19/2008 @ 8:36 am

    Overkill!
    One Riot, One Ranger!

    Another Drew (a9b92d)

  28. We’re Christ-y! We’re feisty! Get used to it!

    Dan Collins (7d9a8c)

  29. Oh, grow up, guys. Have you ever heard of dry commentary?

    Elizabeth (0544fb)

  30. I sure hope this indictment fails, because when Bush ultimately pardons his minions – I want there to be no pending charges. That way, in the eyes of history, there will be no question as to the disgrace and dishonor these men brought to our country. Say what you want about Sullivan, but the man has a principal that he will capitulate on. Which is more then I can say for most people.

    Ray (5fb337)

  31. T

    John (bb21f9)

  32. The one who seems to be getting excited and wetting his knickers over this non event is Patterico. Sullivan as far as I can see was making a joke, and he’s actually fairly good at the dry put down. Chill out Patterico. You need a humor injection man.

    John (bb21f9)

  33. John,

    Sullivan has been an unhinged lunatic for years now; his ability to manage a dry put-down left with the last of his marbles.

    Karl (f07e38)

  34. it’s funny that patterico used the same dry humor that sullivan did. yet he couldn’t see that sullivan’s WAS humor? my god, this man’s IQ must be in the double digits…

    ian g (9c0349)

  35. The hysterical rantings of the loser right-wing are amusing. But, do you all really think making gay jokes about Sullivan is going to help your cause with Normal Americans?

    And by “normal” I mean the Americans in the middle that the christian right is losing for the GOP.

    But, I’m guessing you don’t care as long as you can call a gay man a a’faggot’, right? And I’m also guessing each and every one of you still can’t see why you just had an Epic Loss on election day? Right?

    Now. It’s time for you all to put on your rainhats and go to recess. The Nation is laughing at you, and we thank you for that at least.

    Little ‘starbursts’ to you all! LMAO!

    timpundit (1a9626)

  36. This is amusing. It used to be that San Francisco was the epicenter of such “Think Globally, Act Locally” nonsense. But what’s even funnier is the fact that here in Baghdad-by-the-Bay, we might have — just might have — finally reached the bottom on kookiness.

    San Franciscans, as expected, voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama (84%), Nancy Pelosi (72%) and against Prop. 8 (75%), but at the same time they rejected the following city measures: Maliciously officially naming a sewage treatment facility after George W. Bush, and decriminalizing prostitution. They also approved a non-binding measure supporting the reinstatement of Junior ROTC in public high schools, something that the waaaay-left school board voted to phase out for antiwar, anti-military, anti-gun, and pro-gay reasons.

    But there’s no reason to pop corks yet. Winning a closer than expected race for Superior Court Judge was former Supervisor Gerardo Sandoval, who briefly became a national curiosity when he stated on Hannity & Colmes that America would be better off without a military force.

    Of course, Hannity was apoplectic, but not even uberlib Alan Colmes could wrap his head around an America with no military (Colmes: “You’ve gotta be kidding me! … What do want to defend yourself with?” Sandoval: [Pause] “You got cops…”). Video here.

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  37. timpundit spit: The Nation is laughing at you, and we thank you for that at least.

    Who cares about The Nation? Nobody reads that rag. :)

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  38. Wow–it’s embarrassingly clear that most of you will get as tumescent when shown a photo of Andrew Sullivan as you do when shown one of Sarah Palin.

    Good luck with all your, uh, issues….

    elle loco (b59541)

  39. Sullivan provides much comic relief.

    I got a good laugh out of this, Patterico.

    Rich Bordner (ab3562)

  40. elle loco wrote: Good luck with all your, uh, issues…

    Among my “issues” is NOT thinking about other peoples’ tumescence. Doctor, heal thyself!

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  41. Sarah Palin lesbian sex video surfaces? Hot!

    I can’t wait until she’s President in 2012.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Karl (93b142)

  42. You think maybe Tim missed the Prop 8 vote tally?

    SPQR (72771e)

  43. Comment by Ray — 11/19/2008 @ 11:12 am
    Say what you want about Sullivan, but the man has a principal that he will capitulate on.

    — I, for one, have no desire to learn the professions of the men Sullivan “capitulates” on.

    Icy Truth (aedb2f)

  44. Rich Bordner wrote: Sullivan provides much comic relief.

    Just call him Glutey The Clown!

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  45. Really, Karl? Sarah is so hot I’d lick her asshole ten ways till Sunday.

    [Impostor talking to himself – Karl]

    Mitch (93b142)

  46. BTW, timpundit: Which commenter was the first to use the word “fagg@t” in this thread?

    Thaaat’s right, Timmay! YOU!

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  47. My wife is fat and a raging bitch, but it sure is fun to make fun of Sully! Heh.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Icy Truth (93b142)

  48. Dick Cheney dying of old age in prison would be a wonderful thing. The evil old bastard has it coming.

    You wingnuts are really going to love the next four years.

    MoeLarryAndJesus (bdcc2d)

  49. I suspect many of our wives are grossly obese.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    RightWingTruthTeller (93b142)

  50. I suspect many of these comments are not, in reality, the people who usually use those handles…

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  51. I suspect many of our wives are grossly obese.

    Comment by RightWingTruthTeller — 11/19/2008 @ 12:17 pm

    That explains alot.

    love2008 (0c8c2c)

  52. Scott, I suspect that your wife falls into the obese category as well. 1-800-JENNY-CRAIG.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    RightWingTruthTeller (93b142)

  53. Really funny gay jokes, guys!! LOL!! Keep it up!

    NoBama- NoThanks!! (9c0631)

  54. When’s Sarah’s next interview?

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Congratulations to President-Elect McCain!!! (93b142)

  55. but not even uberlib Alan Colmes

    Actually, I’ve always considered him to be one of those rare creatures, a Democrat who has well-reasoned positions. Don’t agree with the man a lot, but he manages to be civil, and I think talking politics with him over beer would he a load of fun.

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  56. Just pointing out I’m NOT the (supposed) “Mitch” who authored comment #45. Maybe that happens to be the troll’s real name, but I have to wonder.

    Mitch (890cbf)

  57. It appears we’ve been visited by the Daily Kos POS crowd.

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  58. Uh, interesting “Mitch” (if that’s really you), but would you in reality tongue her poop chute if the opportunity presented itself?

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Congratulations to President-Elect McCain!!! (93b142)

  59. Comment by Mitch — 11/19/2008 @ 12:40 pm:

    Just pointing out I’m NOT the (supposed) “Mitch” who authored comment #45. Maybe that happens to be the troll’s real name, but I have to wonder.

    Methinks the “M” is in error.

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  60. Looks like we need some cleanup here.

    SPQR (72771e)

  61. Sullivan writes:

    Criticize me all you want. But why is this fourth grade homophobic crap the first thing that always comes into their minds?

    Because you have made yourself a caricature of a bitchy queen, Mr. Power Glutes.

    nk (2e727e)

  62. The fact that Sullivan makes an income in multiples of most of the posters on this blog seems to have inspired some latent catty jealousy. Hmmm…guess bois will be bois.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Sarah (93b142)

  63. How flattering that someone chose to pretend to be me, in comment #48.

    Of course, I know that love2008’s #52 is genuine, because of the forced compound “alot”. :)

    Icy Truth (aedb2f)

  64. This phony story should not be on AP.

    Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra should be disbarred.

    slp (01f270)

  65. Had “congrats to pres-elect mccain” follow my link to my blog, and leave a lovely comment suggesting I’m gay.

    What class these idiots show.

    Scott Jacobs (a1c284)

  66. “Sarah” wrote:

    The fact that Sullivan makes an income in multiples of most of the posters on this blog seems to have inspired some latent catty jealousy. Hmmm…guess bois will be bois.

    Jealousy over Sullivan’s money? That’s the best you can do?

    Is it too much to ask of trolls that they might bother, y’know, reading the blog they’re infesting?

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  67. Nah, there’s no jealousy here. A bunch of two-bit bloggers that no one ever bothers to read ripping on one of the most successful practitioners of the craft. No doubt y’all will be catching on real soon!

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Congratulations to President-Elect McCain!!! (93b142)

  68. I finally gave up on Sullivan when he startd on his Sarah Palin BabyGate rant. I used to read his blog religiously, at first because he was quite interesting, latterly just out of inertia. The Trig Palin innuendo was the last straw.

    I actually downloaded an addon for Firefox called Blocksite just to catch me if I accidentally clicked on his stupid blog out of habit (I don’t want to give him any hits). That did it. Easier than giving up cigarettes. I will never go back.

    John Willock (4acfb1)

  69. Evidently it is too much to ask of the trolls, L.N.

    SPQR (72771e)

  70. fourth grade homophobic crap

    Very well Andi, but what the hell do you call your bizarre intense fixation and obsession with Sarah Palin’s baby?

    Care to explain that? Lunatic.

    Sen. Rev. Dr. E Buzz (469b15)

  71. Like witless fanboys,
    Sully’s hoards click the link:
    Now the place smells bad.

    Pious Agnostic (b2c3ab)

  72. You guys are legends! Epic even!

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Congratulations to President-Elect McCain!!! (93b142)

  73. I keep asking, and never get an answer, why does anyone care what The National Bvtt Plvg has to say about anything?”

    Person of Choler (f342d0)

  74. He “meant to do that”? Meant to do what? Meant to make a post?

    Or are you thinking that the “irony in [his] post” meant he was being some retarded form of hip and cool, when in fact, Cheney attempting torture techniques overseas and then getting clipped domestically for something related yet distant from the former mistake is the definition of irony?

    If you like your little fan-club here, that’s great, but nobody is going to take you seriously if you can’t understand what it is you’re writing commentary on.

    yawn (f5ae13)

  75. Who really gives a rat’s ass what venom power thighs/hot jam randy andy spews? He’s a humongous horse’s ass and Don Miguel Ruiz would say avoid the corksucker at all costs.

    I’m trying not to make assumptions, but I am much more aggrieved that Bush II is giving O! a jump start on making these United States into part of the EU. Read Dick Morris column today that points out how our corporations will fall under unelected EU oversight. I’ve been chastising my Euroweenie friends for years about their ceding sovereignty to the unelected, unaccountable petty asswipe officials in Brussels. Wonder if throwing away capitalism for socialism had some effect on the market today?? I’ve been out of stocks for ten months now and have no clue where or when to invest, except I am looking for lows below the 52 week lows. The SP500 is now at a five year low.
    Read somewhere that Obama will be stuck dealing with the failures of FDR legislation, instead of breaking new ground. Anyway, I hope Sullivan enjoys masturbating with Obama on his mind. Ditto for olberdouche and Matthews.

    madmax333 (0c6cfc)

  76. @Pious Agnostic:

    To the stray dog’s nose
    Excrement smells as roses,
    and vice versa, too.

    B.B. (966b00)

  77. I’m curious. How do the owners of “The Atlantic” stay in business?

    I mean NOBODY reads that thing. How do they make any money? Or does it run a perpetual loss due to some rich backer?

    Sullivan is…he’s insane. I’m serious. His going on about Trig’s mystery mother was like that hilarious Damon YouTube about him and the dinosaurs.

    Unbelievable.

    Tom (332829)

  78. The prosecutor failed to appear at arraignment so the Judge ordered the Texas Rangers to check on him and order him to appear in court on Friday

    DRJ (a50047)

  79. I stopped reading the comments at #45.

    Dana (79a78b)

  80. I didn’t read the comments until you said that. Ignorance can be bliss.

    DRJ (a50047)

  81. Would Andrew Sullivan still be sane if Bush hadn’t come out against gay marriage?

    Terry Gain (26e16a)

  82. Interesting that Sullivan thinks it’s “homophobic” to point out his obvious man-crush on Obama. Sullivan never hid his sexual attraction for the candidate — why would he lavish praise on such an obviously unaccomplished fool unless he was trying to emphasize the appearance of flirting? Someone tell him that the guy’s married already.

    What was phobic was Sullivan’s own heterophobia in arguing that men voted for Palin based on appearance. A guy who spends his day cutting and pasting block quotes from other blogs or emails so that he can introduce them with witticisms such as “look at this” or “a reader writes” thinks he’s in a position to judge an elected governor’s intelligence? Honestly.

    And someone also tell him that if you have to brag about how “wry” you are, you ain’t.

    The Raving Atheist (9ac3eb)

  83. Raving Atheist: saying that Sullivan has a man-crush on Pres-Elect Obama is a precisely equivalent comment to saying that someone who was repeatedly praising Gov. Palin had a crush on her.

    Both of them are annoying in that, rather than responding to the arguments being put forward by the speaker, they imply that the speaker is to some degree simply making things up to justify their crush.

    aphrael (e0cdc9)

  84. fourth grade homophobic crap

    He left out racist. How dare you criticize the Excitable Andy?! HOMOPHOBE!

    JD (b96a9e)

  85. Damon is such a tool. Everyone knows that the “dinosaurs” are a myth.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    Tom (93b142)

  86. The subtle irony of Andy’s post could only be missed by a homophobe.

    JD (b96a9e)

  87. When’s Sarah Palin’s next interview? She’s so hot.

    [Impostor – Karl]

    JD (93b142)

  88. The bogus comments above were all left by the same impostor, someone in Raleigh, North Carolina who may not realize that leaving a bunch of insane comments from the same IP address makes one easily trackable.

    I have marked those comments and hope that no further action will be required.

    Karl (f07e38)

  89. What is it with Sully, Gleenwald, and sockpuppets?

    JD (b96a9e)

  90. [@89] oh yeah? what are you gonna do karl? ban the ip? scary.

    you commit way too much time to boiling this stew of groupthink. think what you will of andrew sullivan’s commentary. but he actually puts time into analyzing the news of the day and trying to discern what it means — not how to spin it. he’s not always right but at least he tries.

    oh and to the guy who suggested reading the dick morris piece. really? REALLY?

    you guys know, somewhere deep down inside, that this super-neo-conservative mantra is simply wrong. somewhere you have to know it. here’s the entirety of your message — “america perfect, taxes bad. oh yeah guns good gays bad.”

    the republican party, of which your group still represents a minority, is eventually going to leave you. you guys scared all the goldwater types away. they’re democrats now. goldwater would be too. i mean, dick morris? really??

    and when that happens i’ll come back to this site. it’ll be funny.

    funny how anti-gay this site is. especially considering it’s basically a giant circle-jerk. dick morris. heh.

    matt (c1c534)

  91. funny how anti-gay this site is.

    Nope. Just anti-asshat.

    but he actually puts time into analyzing the news of the day

    Coffee right out the nose.

    here’s the entirety of your message — “america perfect, taxes bad. oh yeah guns good gays bad.”

    Only in your fevered swamp of an imagination.

    JD (b96a9e)

  92. Dear Andrew (since you’re no doubt refreshing this page): how hard are you praying that you never bump into Todd Palin? How hard is your “husband” praying that he does? Or do you think he’d prefer to stay with a short, fat, embarrassing male instead of a fit, sculpted & genial MAN?

    RW (2937d1)

  93. matt, why do you hate gun owners? Feeling a bit … inadequate?

    SPQR (72771e)

  94. think what you will of andrew sullivan’s commentary. but he actually puts time into analyzing the news of the day and trying to discern what it means — not how to spin it.

    Yes, his analysis of Trig Palin’s ancestry shows fine discernment and a complete lack of spin.

    You are a silly goose.

    Jim Treacher (592cb4)

  95. matt the troll wrote: the republican party, of which your group still represents a minority, is eventually going to leave you. you guys scared all the goldwater types away. they’re democrats now. goldwater would be too.

    JFK would be a conservative to the right of McCain.

    We win.

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)

  96. Jim Treacher to matt the troll: You are a silly goose.

    “Goose?” Whaddaya mean by “goose?” Th-th-th-that’s an anti-gay code word!

    HETEROSEXIST!

    L.N. Smithee (b048eb)


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