Patterico's Pontifications

8/15/2008

From the Unlucky Criminal File

Filed under: Crime — DRJ @ 6:08 pm



[Guest post by DRJ]

A 24-year-old man was arrested for armed robbery of a Stanton, Texas, drug store after brandishing what appeared to be a gun and demanding drugs. He was shot and apprehended by the local police chief after he tried to escape on foot:

“John Wilkinson, 24, of Big Spring entered the Stanton Drug Store in the 200 block of St. Anna Street just before 12:35 p.m. Thursday yelling at customers to get down and demanding Zanax and hydrocodine from the pharmacist, Stanton Police Chief Mike Adams said.

Wilkinson was carrying what appeared to be a gun wrapped in a dark cloth and ran out the front door after taking the drugs, Adams said. However, when Wilkinson reached his car that was parked and running in front of the drug store, he realized he’d locked the keys inside and was forced to flee the scene on foot instead.”

Wilkinson had left the engine running.

It sounds like he had everything planned, including the quick get-a-way, and then habit kicked in and he locked the car doors as he left. I can totally understand how this happened. In fact, I locked my keys in the car this afternoon when I automatically hit the door lock as I got out for just a moment. Fortunately I wasn’t robbing a drug store at the time.

— DRJ

9 Responses to “From the Unlucky Criminal File”

  1. He didn’t want a different criminal to take his car.

    rhodeymark (a60d4a)

  2. I have always thought that the overused term, “Criminal Master Mind”, was not at all true and is an oxymoron.

    C. Norris (c16806)

  3. Has anyone seen Levi and “John Wilkinson” in the same place at the same time? Just askin’.

    daleyrocks (d9ec17)

  4. #3…
    LMAO!

    Another Drew (c3bf7a)

  5. it’s spelled “Xanax”

    jeffn (e45581)

  6. It’s not “hydrocodine,” either. WYP?

    EW1(SG) (84e813)

  7. It happened to me. I took my best girl for an afternoon in Morro Bay. It took about 2 hours to drive up from Santa Barbara. Just as I was parking on the Embarcadero (waterfront w/geegaw shops) a girl came by on a bicycle, caught my attention, and I locked the car doors with the key in the ignition, and the engine running.

    Now, it wasn’t just any ol’ girl, it was the kind of girl, if you seen her shimmy, she’d make you wish that you was Jimmy. (id the poet)

    When questioned, I came clean straight up and was off the hook by the time I got the doors unlocked.

    Ropelight (3100ad)

  8. Greetings:

    Back in the 70s, I was going to see a female friend with dreams of intimacy dancing in my one-track mind. I parked my car about 9pm, left it running, keys in the ignition and locked it up tighter than a drum as was required in the Bronx in those days.

    But my father had been aware of my limitations from my earliest days and had taught me to keep a spare key in my wallet for when I locked my keys in the car.

    So, when I arrived back at my vehicle around 4am the following morning, I was feeling quite pleased with my father’s spare key strategem. That glow quickly faded when I got in the car and went to start it. You see, in idling for about seven hours, the car had run out of gas.

    Taxi, please God, a taxi

    11B40 (0c816e)

  9. Then there was the blond who was whining to AAA that she’d left her keys in the car with the doors locked…

    The tow truck driver said he would be there quickly. Blond said, “Okay, but hurry. The top’s down and it might rain.”

    Drumwaster (5ccf59)


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