Patterico's Pontifications


Great Ad for Downtown Penthouses

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 2:51 pm

I saw the greatest ad for downtown penthouses today. I’m very happy in my home, but reading stuff like this can’t help but make you think twice about downtown penthouse living — if you could afford it, that is (and I can’t):

They sit atop downtown buildings like beacons: Marble bathrooms glistening, glass wrap-around patios gazing out on the city and high-end ranges awaiting their first speck of gourmet food.

. . . .

At the Eastern Columbia building, $1.875 million will get you two entrances to Penthouse No. 5, nearly 2,500 square feet of concrete floors and old-fashioned windows looking down Broadway, to City Hall and the San Gabriel Mountains beyond. The kitchen is decked out with a Viking range and fridge, a bathroom is resplendent in mirrors and marble and a private outdoor landing has a view of the building’s much-photographed turquoise terra cotta clock.

The ad has a beautiful picture to go with it:

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan (if not a very knowledgeable one) of this sort of 1930s-era architecture, and this is obviously a stunning example of it.

More from the ad:

At 717 Olympic, penthouse units renting for as much as $20,000 a month feature picture windows, egg-shaped soaker tubs and his-and-her closets. Built-in wine chillers and access to a special subterranean level of parking are special perks reserved for those who rent one of the building’s five penthouse units.

But perhaps no unit downtown is as sprawling — or as hyped — as the biggest penthouse at the Biscuit Company Lofts. On the market for nearly $5 million, the penthouse unit has 3,500 square feet inside and nearly as much space outside, including a rooftop deck with 360-degree views. It boasts a private elevator; a sleek kitchen with Wolf appliances; and hardwood floors throughout.

The ad acknowledges that these properties are the subject of marketing campaigns, including rumors about who has bought the penthouses:

Did John Stamos really buy a penthouse unit in the Eastern Columbia? Were David and Victoria Beckham scoping out a luxury loft in Biscuit?

Nothing makes you drool like reading that the properties “ultimately are attainable for only a select group of buyers.” Well. Who doesn’t want to be among a select group of buyers?

It’s really a very interesting advertisement. You can read the whole thing here, at the L.A. Times web site.

UPDATE: In case I was too subtle, this isn’t really an advertisement. It’s an article in the L.A. Times. It just reads like an advertisement.

20 Responses to “Great Ad for Downtown Penthouses”

  1. For high-end real estate and gossip, check out mama blogging at .

    Vermont Neighbor (31ccb6)

  2. you might be able to do the 1.875 million dollar unit, particularly in a few months when the market softens further, you just need a little vision, a positive attitude and about 300 grand down.

    assistant devil's advocate (a0a0bd)

  3. Don’t forget to add in the cost of private schools. You can’t be among a “select group of buyers” if your kids to go to public schools.

    DRJ (070f3d)

  4. I was probably too subtle with this post.

    It’s not really an ad. It’s an article.

    Patterico (ecceba)

  5. It may have read somewhat like an ad, but it was actually a tongue-in-cheek feature story on the front page of the California section. I’d guess that no developer would bother to advertise that kind of property in the mass media.

    James Fulton (00817e)

  6. Johnny Depp supposedly bought a place at the Eastern. The buildings down there are beautiful–but the street life is, gulp, not exactly Manhattan.

    It would be a great place to own a condo and work in the Civic Center, then go home to a home near the beach. Full time? I love the idea too, but not for me. On a recent trip downtown I thought I’d drive to the Arts District to explore lofts. I exited on 4th Street and was so freaked out by the zombie homeless hanging out at the light, that I blew the red light and didn’t stop till I got to my appointment near the 110. So much for being an urban pioneer, LOL!

    Patricia (f56a97)

  7. Maybe my comment was too subtle …

    DRJ (b1ff9b)

  8. Another factor of the high cost of living in these units is, even with the private, preferred parking, you’re probably going to have full-time livery service so that you will specifically not have to interact with the local color. And then, there will probably be the five-figure tip at Christmas to the front-door staff; after all, it will be they who have to receive the deliveries of everything you buy, and make sure it gets up to the bat-cave.

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  9. more…
    But, if you are in that economic stratosphere,
    Why Not!

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  10. The LAT “article” was laughable. How many times did they use the word “might”? Yeah, downtown might really take off some day. Martians might land at the Triforium, too.

    Patricia (f56a97)

  11. Patricia, #6 made me laugh out loud.

    #8, if this is the way it has to be, one might as well be in Manhattan. Its notches above L.A., has Central Park and its a walking town.

    Dana (f3e2a8)

  12. Yeah, Dana, the urban homeless put our suburban homeless to shame!

    Patricia (f56a97)

  13. Patterico, your post was spot-on, the developers have bought MANY full-page ads for the Eastern Columbia complex and other office conversions in downtown. Anybody who read the article understood your humor.

    It would seem like a waste of money advertising in the LAT, if they didn’t sell very many, so, hey, how about a ‘general interest piece’ on…real estate trends that directly impact our advertisers readers?

    TimesDisliker (7c1ffa)

  14. Jerry Brown is trying to sue county governments to shutdown ‘burbs and force people back into urban areas

    So the middleclass will have little choice but to pay through the nose for some of the “lesser” units in downtown areas or move out of state.

    For people with kids to raise, IMO there is not much choice … and the migration out-of-state will pick up.

    Los Angeles, especially, is going to be nothing but the ultra-rich and the street thugs.

    Blade Runner about 10 years ahead of schedule.

    Darleen (187edc)

  15. Los Angeles, especially, is going to be nothing but the ultra-rich and the street thugs.

    IOW a third-world nation.

    So much for individual liberty and responsibility.

    Patricia (f56a97)

  16. Jerry Brown is trying to sue county governments to shutdown ‘burbs and force people back into urban areas

    Really? Can you point me to a link? (Not disbelieving, just curious for more data.)

    Drumwaster (5ccf59)


    “Mr. Brown is taking aim at the suburbs, concerned about the alleged environmental damage they cause. He sees suburban houses as inefficient users of energy. He sees suburban commuters clogging the roads as wasting precious fossil fuel. And, mostly, he sees wisdom in an intricately thought-out plan to compel residents to move to city centers or, at least, to high-density developments clustered near mass transit lines.

    Mr. Brown is not above using coercion to create the demographic patterns he wants. In recent months, he has threatened to file suit against municipalities that shun high-density housing in favor of building new suburban singe-family homes, on the grounds that they will pollute the environment. He is also backing controversial legislation — Senate bill 375 — moving through the state legislature that would restrict state highway funds to communities that refuse to adopt “smart growth” development plans. “We have to get the people from the suburbs to start coming back” to the cities, Mr. Brown told planning experts in March.

    Quite possibly, out next guv.

    Dana (f3e2a8)

  18. “I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan (if not a very knowledgeable one) of this sort of 1930s-era architecture, and this is obviously a stunning example of it.”

    I agree, I like it too. It is the last gasp of Art Deco style architecture and tends to convey an optimistic future, even if there isn’t one.

    C. Norris (051d62)

  19. Drumwaster

    I wrote about Moonbeam’s Revenge here.

    I don’t even want to contemplate having him for governor AGAIN! Cripes, he screwed us last time around.

    Darleen (187edc)

  20. “I wrote about Moonbeam’s Revenge here. “

    Good article on this madman’s obsessions. Brown (and Lockyear) make a case for the CA AG being a Guber. appointment like the Fed AG. At least the Gube would have a leash on these power crazy AG’s.

    C. Norris (051d62)

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