Patterico's Pontifications


Are Smiley Face Killers Targeting Young Men?

Filed under: Crime — DRJ @ 3:00 pm

[Guest post by DRJ]

Fox News reports that a task force of retired police officers believe mysterious drownings of at least 40 young men may actually be the work of a gang of serial killers:

“At least 40 young men who drowned may have died by far more sinister means — serial killings at the hands of a national gang that revels in murdering young men and leaving smiley-face markings at the scene, a team of retired New York City police detectives and criminal justice investigators said Monday.

They believe the victims, including University of Minnesota student Chris Jenkins and Fordham University student Patrick McNeill, didn’t accidentally drown but were actually killed by members of the so-called “Smiley Face Gang.”

A smiley-face symbol was found painted at some of the drowning locations — in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Wisconsin and Iowa, they said.

“They’re telling you here that they’re into evil, they’re very happy as most serial killers are,” said retired NYPD Det. Kevin Gannon. “They’re content with their work and what they’re doing and the fact that they’re thwarting the police.”
The task force that formed to solve the crimes believes a national crime network has killed at least 40 men — mostly white college students and 20-somethings, often with high grades and impressive athletic records — in about 10 different states.

The team investigated 89 separate cases dating back a decade and said it had connected 40 of them through a variety of evidence — including matching sets of gang graffiti.”

The FBI and local authorities don’t agree that the killings may be related but many families of the murdered victims agree the deaths were suspicious.


32 Responses to “Are Smiley Face Killers Targeting Young Men?”

  1. Yeah, there’s a gang of serial killers traversing the country checking the report cards of young white men and then killing them.

    jimboster (364ef3)

  2. it’s a little-known fact that honor students are actually dumber than juvenile delinquents. the honor students are gunning for more units of “a” in everything from calculus to band, getting elected to student council to make their college resumes look good, while the students who spend their time at the beach and smoking dope in the mall parking lot learn more street smarts and can more quickly apprehend when a situation is about to head south. that’s why many of the victims here have high gpa’s.

    assistant devil's advocate (3d83cf)

  3. They’re not “dumber”, ADA, they possess little “street smarts”. By this logic, one could only locate a genius in the worst crime ridden area.

    Apogee (366e8b)

  4. As a reader of Lawrence Sanders crime novels and viewer of Brian DePalma movies, I suspect a gorgeous woman with a brain chemical imbalance.

    nk (1f1707)

  5. nk – If you’re right, I could be next!

    Apogee (366e8b)

  6. Are you a needy college boy in the sense of studying a lot and/or being in training a lot and not dating enough?

    nk (1f1707)

  7. Whew… I am completely safe. What were we talking about, again? Do I know you people?

    sherlock (b4bbcc)

  8. nk – you mentioned DePalma movies, and my first thought regarding your post was his 2002 Femme Fatale. Not well reviewed, but if finding Rebecca Romijn attractive makes me a needy college boy, then I’d better start digging out my old transcripts.

    Apogee (366e8b)

  9. Apogee,

    Having being a young man myself, my advice to young men is, “Talk to strange ladies but keep your guard up”. As well as the other thing. 😉

    nk (1f1707)

  10. nk – I’m not that young.

    But I’m not dead yet either.

    And sometimes strange ladies are what makes being young so exciting.

    Apogee (366e8b)

  11. Here is Chris Jenkin’s website that was started soon after he went missing. I remember many of these cases and they had similar facts – responsible, bright, athletic young men who had too much to drink and became separated from their friends. As I recall, there was often inclement weather. The police theorized they overestimated their ability to get home safely and drowned after falling in a nearby lake or river.

    Apparently Jenkins’ case was instrumental in reopening the other cases because his body was found encased in ice and his position (carefully crossed arms) suggested his death was not accidental.

    DRJ (a431ca)

  12. And sometimes strange ladies are what makes being young so exciting.

    Just so you know for later on…that excitement keeps going for a long time after youthful exuberance fades to languid pleasurings. Be sure to take good care of yourself so you enjoy them all the way to the door leading out.

    What was the topic, again? I became distracted somehow. Oh, yes, encased in ice. Brrrrrr.

    allan (d92ce7)

  13. If I were looking for good targets for murder that would make me feel tough, I’d go for all-star college kids.

    High chance of being brilliant and sucessful, low chance of having common sense enough to figure out they were in trouble; alcohol would be a plus, since it makes it a LOT easier to man-handle someone.

    (This is from someone who WAS always on the honor roll, but knows she lacks the sense to know when to run.)

    Foxfier (74f1c8)

  14. Theres gotta be a hot chick involved; either by luring the men or slipping something into their drink.

    James B. NYC (c056d0)

  15. How about his for a scenario: a young men raped by a jock (in a Gym (optional))while at university goes for a cross-country killing spree. One could even imagine he has a female cohort that has also been a victi of a vicious crime by a jock?? creepy

    Montecristo (c7eff8)

  16. I know, cliché, cliché, cliché! But the truth is sometime stranger than fiction.

    Montecristo (c7eff8)

  17. The inability to even consider that white men could be targeted for murder is reprehensible. I hope that there is nothing to this story, but if there is I hope they catch the perps and give them what they deserve. White men deserve justice just as much as anyone else.

    I have a friend who survived a murder attempt decades ago. His wife told me he never goes to bed without checking the doors and windows three times. Anyone who would make light of the sort of suffering that murder brings is in serious need of some growing up, or therapy, or both.

    tyree (32022e)

  18. Disappearance drowning is not the only way these students die. Michelle Gluckman climbed out a third floor window while friends tried to hold her. She fought free and fell to her death.

    While police tried to rescue one of these drowning victims he told them they didn’t understand what was happening. He backed into the water and went down stream to drown.

    Another victim was walking beside a tidal basin with two friends. He made a remark they didn’t understand and stepped into the water. He sank like a rock and his body was recovered thirty minutes later.

    How do killers pick out high achievers? Many levels of students go to bars. Why are high achievers the usual victim.

    It may be because schools don’t know to provide cubicle level protection for study areas and warn students of a problem with human physiology and the vision startle reflex.

    Cubicles have been used for forty years to prevent what designers think is a harmless episode.

    Subliminal Distraction is the likely cause of these student deaths.

    http://VisionAndPsychosis.Net is a five year investigation of Subliminal Distraction.

    L K Tucker (102406)

  19. LK Tucker – how does this explain the smiley faces?

    Apogee (366e8b)

  20. So we should all put on horse blinders? What a pile of horseshit. How did the human race survive before work cubicles were invented?

    nk (1f1707)

  21. It’s not transfats, it’s not cigarettes, it’s your peripheral vision which is the worst thing for you. Moronic does not quite describe it. Did taxpayer dollars fund this nonsense?

    nk (1f1707)

  22. nk – without peripheral vision, you wouldn’t notice the cigarettes or transfat laden foods.

    Apogee (366e8b)

  23. I wouldn’t be able to drive a car either. What clownish nonsense. Our ancestors lived an outdoor life and their “startle reflex” was triggered all the livelong day. Peripeheral vision is what allows us to have binocular vision with depth perception from eyes in front of our heads while giving us the advantage of seeing movement from the sides.

    nk (1f1707)

  24. How come only ONE photo of a smiley face has been published? Me smells something fishy here……..

    Jack Sprat (768cb6)

  25. Lets give real smiley faced stickers when those thugs are captured and lynched from a forest of trees

    krazy kagu (b3eb4a)

  26. Whether the story is true or not shit does happen, even to men too. Whether you believe in the smiley face gang or not, you should at least take it as a lesson to always try and watch your back, and your friends backs too. I am in my early thirties and still get out every now and then. I live in a suburb outside of a major US city (no areas mentioned in the smiley case) about three or four blocks from a few night spots. Therefore, I choose to walk rather to drink and drive. One night as I was staggering home a car rolls up beside me and an attractive female in the passenger seat repeatedly ask and bargain with me that I needed a lift home. I straight up told her that I didn’t know her, thanks, and no. Then the cars driver, who I had no idea was even male because he was silent during my convo with this girl, tried to play it cool and reason with me to get in. At that point I got more agressive with my tone and told him that I didn’t know him and to keep moving. He said OK and moved on his way. Anyway, to make a long story short, who knows what these individuals true intentions were? Did I look that drunk, were they trying to rob me, or worse? All I know is if I’m with an attractive girl at 2-3 in the morning I’m not trying to pick other dudes up and give them rides home. All I know is I always try to watch my back. In fact, from then on, I now walk in a more common direction whenever I do go out instead of taking shortcuts. People’s is crazy so whether your a male or female – watch your back!

    Jamie (726354)

  27. Remember what the sargeant in Hill St. Blues used to say, “Be careful out there!”

    And it isn’t just the usual stuff like abductions and murders of a woman and her seven year old daughter not long ago at an upscale mall here in Boca. I was walking back from beach on a Sunday morning in Delray and saw cop cars all over the place. Turned out a pitbull had gotten loose unbeknownst to his sitter and attacked a man and his dog walking along the sidewalk near a Starbucks. People broke a potted plant on dog’s head and poured hot coffee on it to no avail. Dog refused to release fangs from man’s arm until a policeman shot and then it fled. The man’s dog was badly mauled. So what would you do if one of those suckers comes after you? lately I’m caring a folding knofe with three inch blade. I like to think better to slice a crazy mutt’s throat than be killed myself.
    As far as human predators, you never know. Has to be tough for young women on road alone traveling some distance on an interstate to or from school. There are serial killers out there preying on them. You’d think carrying a pistol and knowing how to use it would make sense?
    Even large men at rest stops along Interstates are checked out. At times my radar has been up when eyeballed closely by typical teen vermin.

    madmax333 (9e16eb)

  28. i am from albany n.y. there has been a similiar case here the smiley face was found he was found in the hudson river he dissappeared on the 23th of december found in april in the hudson river for you sicko’s out there have a party but for the real people who care for life something is not right sicko’s read the paper maybe something tomorrow really bad will happen and take your paper in the bathroom but for the real people we need to take concern something is not right here

    chris a. (c79df8)

  29. one last message are you people really this sick remember you have loved ones also they will become victims of your hatred a suggestion for your group mass suicide and what gives you the right how can you decide who lives or dies remember the christ and or satan we will decide not the mortals how can you hurt these babies how can you take away our future you have to be the saddest creatures ever only you can stop this and i know you are reading this so end it

    chris a. (c79df8)

  30. remember if the job of god was vacant one of you assholes would apply

    chris a. (c79df8)

  31. Well, we just heard from Levi’s cousin.

    Another Drew (f9dd2c)

  32. ” How did the human race survive before work cubicles were invented?”…The circumstances for Subliminal Distraction are so exacting that it is difficult to get enough exposure to cause a problem.

    If you read my site you will learn that where those circumstances have existed there have been mental breaks outside business offices, where Cubicle Level Protection is unknown and not used.

    The Anasazi became paranoid and abandoned pueblo cliff cities.

    Soyuz-21 ended twenty days early because the flight engineer had a full psychotic break.

    The entire crew of the Belgian Polar Expedition began to go insane when the ship was trapped in pack ice for thirteen months. They all recovered when they began to work outside to chop the ship free.

    These mental problems have happened on scientific expeditions for over a hundred years.

    Aboard US Navy submarines the mental event is called Screaming Seaman.

    One in three people who spend more than five days in a hospital intensive care unit has this mental break. Doctors are stumped as to the cause.

    This problem explains a lot when you understand what to look for in cases of bizarre historical events.

    L K Tucker (0caa05)

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