Patterico's Pontifications


A Dinnertime Conversation Between My Five-Year-Old Son Matthew and My Seven-Year-Old Daughter Lauren

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 8:12 pm

We were sitting at the dinner table when suddenly Matthew looked at Lauren and, apropos of nothing, started this conversation:

Matthew: I know something you don’t know.

Lauren: What?

Matthew: I am not left-handed.

Lauren: There’s something I’ve got to tell you.

Matthew: Tell me.

Lauren: I’m not left-handed either.

They have good taste.

20 Responses to “A Dinnertime Conversation Between My Five-Year-Old Son Matthew and My Seven-Year-Old Daughter Lauren”

  1. HALLO. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, now prepare to die.

    wls (dfa1f1)

  2. Yes, Patterico…my wife looked at me as if I were nuts too, when I read this one to her…

    reff (99666d)

  3. So many times I’ve wanted to tell a commenter here that I didn’t think that word means what they think it means.

    SPQR (26be8b)

  4. This is taking a sinister turn.

    Charlie (Colorado) (fda728)

  5. HALLO. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, now prepare to die.


    — stop SAYING that!

    I know at least 30 people who can quote every line from that movie to fit any situation – and frequently do.

    I think they should have a blog contest for most frequently quoted movie .

    PB FTW!

    no one you know (1ebbb1)

  6. You guys should not feel bad. There are hundreds of right-handed people across the world that are as smart as an average left-handed person!

    Kevin (4890ef)

  7. They did a really good job of quoting it, too. They were, almost word for word, spot on — including Matthew saying “Tell me.” I was impressed.

    Patterico (faeccf)

  8. Try to record it, even if you have to get them to re-create it. I know this will sound corny but there will come a time when that conversation will be even more precious to you than it is now.

    DRJ (a6fcd2)

  9. That’s a good idea.

    Patterico (faeccf)

  10. “…an average left-handed person!”

    Kevin, are you saying that everyone in Lake Woebegone is left-handed?

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  11. The average left handed person is genrally higher in intellegence and creativity. More left handed peopke are crazy. My second grade teacher used to smack my hand to try and switch me to right handed.

    hazy (d671ab)

  12. snark filter off…

    Do we know if Christoph is left-handed?

    restart snark filter…

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  13. Now I know why I just gave that movie to my nephews and nieces.

    luagha (4d9304)

  14. “Have a nice time storming the castle!” Is our farewell when sending a loved one off on a pleasant trip.

    paul from fl (47918a)

  15. True story, I swear:

    Have a friend w/ husband and 5 boys, all devout Catholics. They saw PB and all loved it (boys were ages 7-15 at the time). Two weeks after first seeing it, she was talking with the youngest about something and asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. Without hardly a pause the seven-year-old looked at her and said, “Poor and perfect.” She was amused and touched at the same time.
    All seven of them (boys are ages 13-21 now) still love that movie, and frequently quote it today.

    no one you know (1ebbb1)

  16. without = with

    no one you know (1ebbb1)

  17. In a similar vein, when I would ask my son what he had done at school, he would answer: “Same thing we always do, try to take over the world.” Spoken with Brain-like inflection, of course.

    Rob Ives (3e2d7e)

  18. William Goldman, classic genius. And he’s from my hometown.

    I looked the movie up on IMDb and it’s 20 years old already. Wow.

    kimsch (2ce939)

  19. Patterico, how many times a week are you woken up from an afternoon nap by a small child who then informs you, “You’ve been mostly dead all day.”

    Alan Kellogg (8f8b35)

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