Patterico's Pontifications


Caption Contest

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 3:05 am

L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Telemundo anchor Mirthala Salinas have publicly admitted having an affair. Which can mean only one thing: it’s caption contest time!


Leave your entries in the comments below. Winners will be announced on Friday.

68 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. I am sorry Antonio, but I do not remember it being as big as you say it is.

    Jeremy Spencer (43ff4d)

  2. Say hello to my little friend!

    Jeremy Spencer (43ff4d)

  3. Do you want to see my MIGHTY AZTEC WARRIOR!

    fmfnavydoc (affdec)

  4. {thinking to her self} “Doesn’t this guy ever shut up about himself? He’s more conceited than I am!”

    gahrie (de5a83)

  5. Y’know, Miraltha, it’s not really a turn-on when you scream, “Oh, Antonio! Tu es EN FUEGO!”

    I'm Geekier (12dd25)

  6. “You can pick cantaloupes or cassavas with one hand but with honeydews or watermelons you have to use both hands like this.”

    nk (d0f918)

  7. If I get my hands on those conservative bloggers that killed the immigration reform bill I’ll strangle them with my bare hands…. like this.

    Buzzy (9d4680)

  8. This has never happened to me before, I can assure you. Maybe it was nerves or something.

    daleyrocks (5a4736)

  9. I only cheat on my wife with ONE woman at a time, I swear!

    Viktor (5c2614)

  10. I don’t know what happened!!
    But I have told you not to use to much oil before..

    Barry McNelly (d0969f)

  11. Dang! I thought those little blue pills would make me this big!

    juandos (9c8c3b)

  12. “I swear I will be faithful to you until we have two kids, or the next reporter babe comes along. That’s how it was with the others.” – Villaraigosa soon-to-be Villasalinas.

    Cynthia U (fec594)

  13. So, the story is, “it was a friendship that evolved over time.”

    TimesDisliker (429048)

  14. The fetus has to be about this big for it to be considered a late-term abortion, so we’re ok.

    Terry (b3f6e4)

  15. “I tell you, Mirthala, I became a politician because I am no good with my hands.”

    “Oh, I don’t agree, Antonio.”

    Paul (fea950)

  16. OK, at the press conference, I’m going to hold your head right here, and say “Who can blame me?”

    Cobb (bb7fda)

  17. “I told you to go to Italy and send me the “Spaghetti” postcard when it pops…you had to insist on going public.”

    Spaghetti (For those not in the know)

    For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

    She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

    One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.’Honey,’she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’ ‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

    On the card was written: ‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with
    meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.’

    Agatha (fec594)

  18. A: Fui gran anoche!
    M: Fabian fue mas grande…

    Tru (b2dffa)

  19. So how do you feel about “Villalinas” as my new name? That is, until Penelope Cruz is available. Hmmm. “Villaruz”,,,,?

    Nameless (a40e24)

  20. “And when I’m President, Mira, I’ll have them! All my enemies! Oh, they’ll rue the day they crossed me!!! And I’ll squeeze them like THIS, until they beg for mercy! Mercy they won’t get, Mira…”

    Kevin Murphy (0b2493)

  21. “Stay calm. Al Gore’s son is on the way. He’s got your Xanax. “

    Vermont Neighbor (95b069)

  22. I know a good doctor…he can make each of your boobs this big.

    Perfect Sense (b6ec8c)

  23. Isn’t America great? We get to elect these boobs as our leaders, and then we get to complain about … them(?).

    Have a Happy, Safe & Sane, Independance Day.

    Another Drew (a28ef4)

  24. Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in.

    Curtiss (dc35ef)

  25. I said amnesty not I’m nasty.

    Vermont Neighbor (95b069)

  26. Mama’s got a squeeze box…

    cts22 (edfaf6)

  27. i was looking at that photo in the sf chron just before clicking over here. she’s a hottie alright, ole!

    assistant devil's advocate (fd732a)

  28. Do you lead with our story or do I follow sports?

    John (244931)

  29. “You never told me you were bangin’ Alex Padilla and Fabian Nunez”.

    Allan Bartlett (8541bb)

  30. “In other words, at least twice the size of Fabian’s.”

    Patterico (2a65a5)

  31. So I say, “Do you like it long and thin or short and thick?” Then she says, “Yeah, I like it long and thick.”

    David (996063)

  32. OK here is our story –

    When we pose for our People cover photo say: “We want to protect our privacy.”
    When we are on Larry King say: “We want to protect our privacy.”
    When we sign the book deal and movie rights just say: “We want to protect our privacy.”
    During our Barbara Walters interview just repeat: “We want to protect our privacy.”

    Got it?

    Perfect Sense (b6ec8c)

  33. She’s not prone to argue with me.

    Mike Myers (2e43f5)

  34. Your place, my place, or right here?

    Roman Wysowaty (4d5570)

  35. – When I think of you, I need both hands.

    – Is strangling illegal? I missed that one four times.

    – Should we really be having this conversation while I’m mic’d?

    – And this is what I told Rocky to do if his wife takes the car again.


    JRM (de6363)

  36. We just put ’em together–Villasalinas!

    KateCoe (84afa1)

  37. Ugh, wasn’t Antonio’s “maiden” name Villar? And, if he marries this one, would he become Villarsalinas?

    If he stays single after the divorce, would he revert back to Tony Villar?

    The Alcalde, Rocky – how much better can it get?

    Any word on who on the Council is snorting these days?

    Another Drew (8018ee)

  38. “And that’s just the width!”

    Patterico (2a65a5)

  39. Him: “Am I The Man or what? Look at the babe bagged!”

    Her: “I can’t believe I’m sleeping with a man who wears such a poorly fitting suit.”

    Dana (556f76)

  40. It’s at least as big as my head.

    Pablo (99243e)

  41. “I think you stepped in los poo-poo again, mi amor.”

    Patricia (824fa1)

  42. “Ay, the wet spot. Es muy grande y caliente.”

    Vermont Neighbor (95b069)

  43. “stick around and play your cards right, and i’ll make you the first lady of california.”

    (this is a great line for anyone, insert your own state.)

    i’m not a californian anymore, but i’d take villaraigosa over newsom in san francisco.

    assistant devil's advocate (d12c30)

  44. Her: “Look, the special shampoo just isn’t working down there…”
    Him: “Oh yeah? Well it burns like hell when I pee.”

    Scott Jacobs (c271ed)

  45. “‘Mayor’ in Spanish means ‘greater.’ But in context, I’m pretty sure it means ‘bigger’ too.”

    Patterico (2a65a5)

  46. “. . and it will be called ‘Aztlán’ . .”

    PrestoPundit (a2369b)

  47. “Yes, my second mistress was broad-beamed.”

    Alan Kellogg (72adda)

  48. Him: I know I have little hands but if you give me a chance I promise to give you a really big exclusive… oh and you could come with me to NY… oh and you could come (heh, heh) to Sacramento… Don’t you worry about conflicts of interest… most people who watch you on TV are too dumb as it is.
    Her: Oh Tony V… I don’t know… Iv’e broken up my share of marriages during my career, understandably all for the sake of truly uncovering the ‘naked’ truth, but you are too small for me… How will I know when you’re truly inside me? Tell me again how big will the exclusive be?

    John Rockford (70c373)

  49. I hear Salman Rushdie’s divorcing. If you don’t get a boob job to make them this big I’ll be chasing Padma Lakshmi before you can say “Vamos”

    Francis (fb2fe9)

  50. “I wear the black for the beaten and the poor.”

    Alta Bob (618ae9)

  51. 1 –
    She – My ear hurts
    He – You love it when I grab your ears and …

    2 –
    Ay, amor, aquí entre nos … ¿Quien es mas macho?

    She is quite the dish. I’m more of a Univision guy, at least for their weather coverage, but still. Quite a dish.

    carlitos (b38ae1)

  52. “Please tell me you’re not sleeping with Delgaldillo too…..”

    gahrie (de5a83)

  53. The note said, “Remember Samson and Delilah”.

    MD in Philly (3d3f72)

  54. You can START with your head here, but then I’d really like you to move down …

    Adam Lake (53eee0)

  55. After I crush my wife’s soul, I will rule with you at my side.

    TakeFive (2bf7bd)

  56. I’ve got a cock on me like a horse….

    TheManTheMyth (6e8923)

  57. “Being Mayor of LA is peanuts. The real money (by the double handful) is in being leader of the State Senate.”

    nk (d0f918)

  58. And then I’ll say “We clean your toilets with our hands!”

    kaf (652c32)

  59. So Nunez gets you on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; Padilla on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I get the weekends? Sounds fair to me.

    TakeFive (2bf7bd)

  60. “Really sweetheart, I am as big around as a Hollenbeck Special!”

    Jerry LeFrois (1f5458)

  61. I’d just like to make clear to you, Mirthala, that I can accept Fabian and Alex, but I’m going to have to draw the line at Zuma Dogg.

    Barney (b3f6e4)

  62. Speaking of honesty and transparency, where did that neat photo of the mayor and the TV babe that illustrates your blog post come from?

    Thou shalt not steal.

    Not property. Not husbands. Not cash. Not copyrighted material.

    Just wonderin' (b0d02d)

  63. I think it’s fair use.

    Patterico (2a65a5)

  64. I agree, except for those tip jars on the sidebar which may constitute a commercial enterprise and not an educational one.

    However, I think there is an inherent right to know whom your adulterous alcalde is boinking, regardless of copyright infringement. Even Salinas herself should be deemed “fair use” considering how many times she has been passed around the chicano power hustlers. I’m sure her familia is proud of her accomplishments.

    Petty Bourgeois (d5b6de)

  65. It’s about this big and gray; it has my razor and toothbrush and Blockbuster card….

    RandyB (fc246d)


    JIM SCHMECHEL (2423cd)

  67. “Mirthala, I think I should try dressing like you, from now on. What do you think?”

    Amy Newman (56a0a8)

  68. tramadol online…


    tramadol online (2f7e64)

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