The Right Crazy Stuff
An astronaut who recently flew on the space shuttle has gone cuckoo and gotten herself charged with attempted murder:
Wearing a trench coat and wig, [NASA astronaut Lisa Marie] Nowak, 43, allegedly fired pepper spray at [Capt. Colleen] Shipman, who managed to escape and alert police. Investigators said Nowak was carrying a 4-inch buck knife, steel mallet, latex gloves, rubber tubing, garbage bags and a BB gun in a black duffel bag.
Nowak, you see, apparently “saw Shipman as a rival for the affection of astronaut and Navy Cmdr. William A. Oefelein, 41.” So she drove cross-country, wearing diapers to avoid bathroom breaks and make better time.
I blame the Tang.
After her release, she intends to star in another remake of Lost in Space.
Dana (3e4784) — 2/7/2007 @ 7:41 amFor reasons as yet unclear this story fascinates me. I guess I should say I live within a stone’s throw of the JSC, that makes me her neighbor. She is a 1985 Naval Academy graduate, a Captain (O-6), an astronaut.
I exited the USMC in ’86 so she’s actually younger than me. She’s a golden girl. She’s what the navy would point at as the perfect example of the modern navy, an academy grad, a female, an astronaut.
People without military experience may not fully appreciate what it means to be a captain. Nuclear subs are skippered by Commanders (O-5). You know, I’m talking about the guys with the keys to nuclear missiles? She outranks them as an O-6.
As a former USMC NCO I am still breathless over a navy captain doing such a thing. Even as tough as I was, and I was a punk compared to the guys I know that serve today, I would have trembled in the presence of an O-6 Marine OR Navy. I can hardly explain how scandalous this is to me.
With apologies to our host, they are going to Fuck. Her. Up. Anyone and everyone that has touched her has been humiliated by this, had their judgment called into question. They will hurt her in any and every way they can think of.
She graduated in ’85, so she had 22 years, was an O-6. That means that by this action she just gave up (I am just about positive) around $10-15k per month for life in retirement benefits that she was eligible for the day before she did this. Do the math, we’re talking in the range of $6+ million in US government funds she just tossed out the window.
This gives fresh meaning to “off her meds”.
Dwilkers (4f4ebf) — 2/7/2007 @ 7:52 amBizarre. Have you seen her mug shot? Classic! Though I will say, based on the evidence that has been reported, charging her with first degree murder seems to be a bit of a stretch. Attempting kidnapping – certainly. Not even an abuse of discretion a la Duke rape case. But I’m just saying they might need more evidence to make that murder charge stick.
Hey Patterico, I’d be curious to get your take on that aspect of the story since you are of the prosecuting variety of personhood.
[A murder charge would be tough to prove, mainly because the victim wasn’t killed. That’s probably why the charge wasn’t brought.
Oh, you meant the *attempted* murder charge! As to that, I dunno. I’d think you’d need more than is evident from the linked article. But maybe prosecutors *have* more. — P]
Justin Levine (b2f85e) — 2/7/2007 @ 7:58 amThis is a tragic story. Nowak has kids. She had a great career. How could her colleagues not notice her decline? The story is bizarre, but not funny as some seem to think.
QF (72be5d) — 2/7/2007 @ 8:29 amMaybe it’s the times we grow up in, and the movies we watch, but when I read that she had rubber tubing and garbage bags, the first thing that came to mind was a torture/dismemberment scenario.
Given the apparent level of mental imbalance, it wouldn’t seem to be beyond the pale, either.
Lurking Observer (ea88e8) — 2/7/2007 @ 8:46 amInsofar as making an attempted murder charge stick,
steel mallet + latex gloves + garbage bags doesn’t look good. That’s Mens Rea if I ever saw it.
Buck knife + rubber tubing: anyone here seen “Sin City”? I have unpleasant associations with rubber tubing…
Leviticus (68eff1) — 2/7/2007 @ 8:51 amHuh. I guess Lurking Observer and I think alike in at least one scenario.
How old are you, LO? What “times” did you grow up in?
Leviticus (68eff1) — 2/7/2007 @ 8:52 amOld enough to have seen “Sin City” m’self, recently (and not the first time, either).
Joey Butta-foo-co!
Lurking Observer (ea88e8) — 2/7/2007 @ 8:54 amI just find it funny that with all the testing I assume NASA is involved in, … mental issues apparently aren’t of their concern?
MOG (c949f7) — 2/7/2007 @ 9:25 amTang? Can you manufacture some documents to prove that?
km (910b19) — 2/7/2007 @ 9:47 am“BB” guns today can achieve enough fps’s to kill a person, and they are silent, and you can probably get one without registration.
She must also have had an accomplice, to refuel her in transit without stopping. -joke-
J. Peden (9413d2) — 2/7/2007 @ 9:54 amBlame Tang? Funny line, but, if you’ve been following recent cop-out history (e.g. Gavin Newsom, Bob Ney, Mark Foley, Mel Gibson, etc., etc.), you gotta be betting that she’ll be checking in for drug or alcohol rehab real quick. Jeebus, given Nowak has pictorial evidence of a meth addict look, it seems she’ll be able to plausibly play that card.
Macswain (76d8da) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:00 amRisk-takers. Only a conscience stands between a criminal and a hero.
nk (5a2f98) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:06 amFor those of us who remember when Ren & Stimpy was “edgy” and “hip”, this is a veritable gold mine of SPACE MADNESS references.
PCachu (e072b7) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:10 amShe has been released on bond, and returned to Texas, wearing a monitoring device.
Now, I’ve gotta ask: if a black or Hispanic thug had been charged with the identical offenses in Orlando, would said person have been released on $25,500 bond?
Dana (3e4784) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:28 am“I blame the Tang.”
I blame Mr. Clinton.
Old Coot (581b7e) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:33 amcan you imagine if this had happened in space? if an astronaut flipped out in the sky, would we ever hear about it, or would he/she be brought off the shuttle under sedation? with all these randy women being shot into orbit, there’s gotta be some action up there sometimes, wish we could get first-person accounts of sex in space.
assistant devil's advocate (6db7ef) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:44 amNaval officers and astronauts are people first and subject to the same emotional roller coaster we all ride. Based on my experience and word-of-mouth from friends and family (admittedly hearsay, but probably somewhat reliable), the Clear Lake area is equal parts professional suburb and Peyton Place/Desperate Housewives. So I think the odds are that something was bound to happen sooner or later.
However, be warned I’m also going to suggest something that isn’t so PC. Maybe she didn’t unexpectedly go off the deep end. It’s also possible the Navy and NASA cut corners, bent the rules, or whatever you want to call it to let a woman advance. In the 1980’s, especially, there was pressure on the military, NASA, and similar institutions to bring in women to be top guns and astronauts. How do we know the same psychological standards were applied to her that were applied to the male candidates? Conversely, maybe being a female Naval officer, astronaut, wife, and mother presents added stress that is especially hard to handle.
DRJ (605076) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:50 amADA,
The Right Stuff (the book, I don’t remember if it was covered in the movie) addressed rumors that one astronaut “lost it” in an early space flight. The facts were disputed but whatever happened was covered up at the time and the astronaut’s career was effectively over.
DRJ (605076) — 2/7/2007 @ 11:55 amRegarding my comment 17 – I don’t mean that astronauts and other NASA personnel have questionable character. Everything I know suggests they are extraordinary people. My point was they are still humans who have failings and foibles.
DRJ (605076) — 2/7/2007 @ 12:00 pmThe under reported tragedy of sniffing to much rocket fuel.
Perfect Sense (b6ec8c) — 2/7/2007 @ 1:16 pmwhen manhungry space vixens go bad:
“ground control to major tom, ground control to major tom, take your protein pill and put your condom on.”
assistant devil's advocate (dfac15) — 2/7/2007 @ 2:47 pm“this is major tom to ground control. captain lisa won’t let me back in the airlock.”
“this is captain lisa. i’m not letting him back in until he validates my feelings as a woman.”
“major tom here, i have ten minutes of air left. captain lisa seems to be overly preoccupied on a monthly basis.”
“captain lisa to ground control, the other day in the mess bay major tom told me he wanted a long fuck and the thai astronaut thought he’d mispronounced a rice dish.”
“major tom to ground control, this is coming from the same woman who, when we were about to blast off on this mission, leaned over and told me that i couldn’t get laid on earth _or_ mars.”
“this is ground control. could we take this to the offline channel, all of america is listening.”
“this is captain lisa. all of america can just find out that major tom isn’t a very manly man. the first time i saw him take off his space suit, i didn’t think his rocket booster was big enough to achieve escape velocity on the moon.”
“this is major tom. please let me back aboard the ship, i’ll do whatever you want.”
“this is captain lisa. major tom, will you leave your wife for me?”
“this is major tom. roger that.”
“this is captain lisa. i also want you to do oral on me for an entire earth orbit.”
“this is major tom. you want me to sing to you?”
“this is captain lisa. i want you to sing to me at the same time.”
My older daughter is trying for a Navy scholarship; I told her that there was a fresh opening. 🙂
Dana (556f76) — 2/7/2007 @ 4:23 pmThat was Scott Carpenter,who diddled around so much he almost screwed the pooch.It wasn’t really covered up,but Kris Kraft said “That sonnavabitch’ll never fly for me again” & he never flew again.
Frantic Freddie (1474cf) — 2/7/2007 @ 5:55 pmActually, Freddie, I was referring to the section in The Right Stuff concerning Gus Grissom and the sinking of his Liberty 7 capsule after splashdown. Grissom claimed the hatch blew unexpectedly and that the capsule filed with water and sank immediately. He barely made it out alive. As I recall the story in The Right Stuff, the conventional wisdom at NASA was that Grissom caused the hatch to blow, either inadvertently or intentionally due to a panic attack caused by delayed recovery efforts. Grissom was treated like a second-class astronaut after that but he was never publicly discussed by NASA so he never had an opportunity to defend himself.
DRJ (605076) — 2/7/2007 @ 6:28 pmAnd they “fixed” the hatch so it wouldn’t happen again. It cost Grissom his life, because there was no way to open the hatch quickly enough during the flash fire on the launch pad during testing for Apollo I.
otcconan (ebb620) — 2/8/2007 @ 12:05 am“I blame the tang.”
Dude, I cannot believe you said that. Who else would you blame?
Californio (53dcdd) — 2/8/2007 @ 12:46 amP –
Yes, I meant “attempted” murder.
Justin Levine (4a0a2d) — 2/8/2007 @ 4:47 amGus Grissom as second class astronaut.
Actually nothing could be further from the truth.
Following Mercury, Grissom was heavily involved in the design of the Gemini capsule. To such an extent that it was routinely refered to as the “Gus Mobile”. Many of the capsule dimensions were derived from measurements of Grissom’s body.
Grissom flew the first manned Gemini mission. Had it not been for the fire, he would have flown the first Apollo mission. Again, he was heavily involved it the capsule design. Based on the selection of Alan Shepard to command Apollo 14, it is highly plausable to conclude Grissom would have commanded a lunar flight.
He was the first astronaut to be asked to fly three times! Hardly “second class”, or having the benefit of a “cover up”. This was high risk, high dollar, work. There’s no way anyone with even a hint of incompetance gets to fly multiple times.
It is unfortunate that the phrase “squirming hatch blower” was used the movie The Right Stuff. It was certainly done for dramatic purposes, but it gives future generations the impression it was Grissom’s fault, and that he had messed up.
There can be no doubt Grissom was a well respected member of the astronaut corp. He is a hero, having made the ultimate sacrifice.
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sunybck (8be1b3) — 12/29/2007 @ 5:00 pm