I can feel my brain dying, little by little.
Is it because of my undiagnosed sleep apnea? No . . . I’m sure that’s killing brain cells, but that’s not what I mean.
Is it because of the cheap weeks-old red wine I’ve been drinking at my Mom’s house? If you could taste it, you’d easily guess that stuff is capable of killing all kinds of brain cells . . . but that’s not what I mean either.
No, my brain is dying because we spent the last couple of hours watching TiVoed versions of some game show called “Deal or No Deal.”
This is the most mindless show you have ever seen. The squeezing sensation in your skull is the feeling of your brain atrophying at an alarming rate — like you’re the subject of a documentary on brain disease, filmed using time-lapse cinematography.
And it has Howie Mandel.
We’re gonna watch a movie now: Thank You for Smoking. Time to get more of that cheap, cheap wine.