Sadly, Hilarious!
I heard about this lengthy Sadly, No! diatribe against Jeff Goldstein, and clicked over, fully prepared to fly into a righteous outrage at the shabby treatment of my pal.
But a funny thing happened. They quote Goldstein extensively in the post — to bitterly mock him, of course — and I started chuckling as I read block quote after block quote of Goldstein’s hilarious insults against lefty jerks. My anger at the nasty things the Sadly, No! folks were saying dissipated as I started laughing out loud at the clever way with words that Goldstein has.
Don’t get me wrong. It is an outrageous post, and these guys are cretins.
And . . . strangely obsessed with Goldstein.
But Goldstein ends up looking good, to anyone who is rational and has a sense of humor. Because the quotes are just so damn funny.
UPDATE: And also not terribly polite. It’s Goldstein, folks. If you click over expecting Jeff to be talking about tea and crumpets, then you may be shocked. It’s more like Jeff talking about slapping people in the face with a certain part of his anatomy which is not his hand.
UPDATE x2: Honestly, the energy these people put into trying to destroy one guy is really amazing. In thoroughness and obsessiveness, the Sadly, No! post reminds me somewhat of my own Dog Trainer Year in Review posts. With two major differences — ehh, maybe three.
First, in my year-end posts, I’m taking on a major newspaper — meaning my obsessiveness is a little more justified than this craziness over a blogger. Second, my target comes off looking worse, not better, by the end of the enterprise. Third — and this is really the key point, I think, though some might disagree — unlike the folks at Sadly, No!, I am not a total cretin. If I do say so myself.
See Dubya thinks these guys may be so obsessed that they could end up going through Goldstein’s garbage — and damned if they don’t seem unbalanced enough to actually do it.
UPDATE x3: Is there any way to explain to these guys how stupid they are? They take something utterly ridiculous like “cock-slapping” and treat it seriously, which is just sub-moron stuff to begin with. Then, proceeding from the assumption that “cock-slapping” threats are meant seriously, they mock it for being . . . ridiculous. Which was the whole point to begin with — and the hint for those of us who are sentient that Jeff was KIDDING.
Man. Nobody in the world looks as stupid as the guy who doesn’t know that a joke is a joke.
Is this a trap? If so I’m about to fall right into it.
I felt more disgust at all those Goldstein quotes than anything I’ve ever read of Ann’s. Maybe it’s a guy thing.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/15/2006 @ 10:03 pmThat guy comes off as a little…thorough in his Jeff-bashing. Like he’s hunkered down outside Goldstein’s window with a pen and a spyglass right now.
See-Dubya (6574c2) — 6/15/2006 @ 10:34 pmTrue that.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/15/2006 @ 10:41 pmEh, most of what he plucks and highlights are comments — not posts — and they are invariably in response to some troll or other who has just dropped a turd on my site. Conveniently, he hides the context.
I look at it this way: I’ve posted something like 20,600 entries, and who knows how many comments. If this guy wants to spend his time going through all that and then concocting a pop-psychological profile from what it is he’s able to cherry pick, let him have at it. It seems rather sad that that’s how somebody would use their limited time on this earth, but hey, whatever gives you pleasure, I guess.
Still, it seems only fair to point out that when you have a comments section that doesn’t require registration, you run into a lot of vile stuff being flung your way, mostly by people afraid / ashamed to leave their own names. People attacking your family, your job, etc.
Well, my name’s attached to all those comments and posts. So judge me as you wish, but at least I don’t run from what I say. But keep in mind that this guy spent hours and hours and hours on this, and he hightlighted, what? — several dozen quotes? Not too bad considering I started the blog in Dec 2001.
What is interesting is reading the comments. See how happy some of the commenters over there are that I’m now “unemployable,” thanks to the brave work of something calling itself “Retardo Montalban”.
It’s surreal, I tell you.
Jeff G (881746) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:14 pmWell, to me, the great part is that he tries to make you seem vile and despicable in every possible way — and you just come off looking funny.
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:17 pmJeff, you should really not put your trash outside on the curb. I think “Retardo Montalban” may be having a look through it.
See-Dubya (6574c2) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:33 pmKeep in mind I didn’t say they didn’t deserve it; I’m just saying the ones they had there were gross. 🙂 I totally don’t give a damn for their psychobabble BS about what it all MEANS–it means they were cruising and Jeff gave it to them. Gross nonetheless.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:35 pmI think Anwyn is offended by the “dick-slapping in the face” jokes.
Actually, that reminds me. I *had* meant to put a language content warning on the post. I probably figured most people knew already. It’s Goldstein, after all.
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:38 pmI haven’t been around enough … I’m a good girl after all. Which means, I haven’t been around the *blogosphere* enough … to know that’s how Jeff talks. So that was all new to me. I’ve read a couple things at protein wisdom but not a lot. Yet.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/15/2006 @ 11:42 pmPatterico:
Hm, I’m with Anwyn on this, and not just because of her name. Honestly, P., I don’t see much of a distinction between the Jeff Goldstein rants and the Coulter stuff and the other one by <Nameless> below.
None of them particularly bothers me.
I’m also not much bothered by the Coulter comment about Clinton getting serviced by a “fat Jewish girl,” despite the fact that I’m a Jew.
(I’m actually a lot more bothered by her rejection of evolution — the besetting flaw of a huge number of conservatives. But I don’t hold it against them; it takes all kinds to make a world.)
I hate to say this, but I’m awfully surprised that you’re so thin-skinned about these sorts of comments… and on behalf of others, no less. It’s strange and interesting. In the circles I move in, I heard so many “horrible” things like this growing up, in all directions, that it just doesn’t affect me much.
“Niagara Falls…! Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch….”
Dafydd
Dafydd (6e94cd) — 6/16/2006 @ 2:20 amWell, how can you mock at others? At times i really fail to understand that.
If you wanna laugh crack jokes. It’s really bad to laugh on others!!
Linda (d75777) — 6/16/2006 @ 2:41 amGotta agree with Dafydd on this one. Unless Patterico is falling into the liberal trap of “but it hurts their FEELINGS”…
sharon (fecb65) — 6/16/2006 @ 4:20 am[…] Patterico’s Pontifications » Sadly, Hilarious! Honestly, the energy these people put into trying to destroy one guy is really amazing. In thoroughness and obsessiveness, the Sadly, No! post reminds me somewhat of my own Dog Trainer Year in Review posts. With … major differences — First, in my year-end posts, I’m taking on a major newspaper — meaning my obsessiveness is a little more justified than this craziness over a blogger. See Dubya thinks these guys may be so obsessed that they could end up going through Goldstein’s garbage — and damned if they don’t seem unbalanced enough to actually do it. […]
Sadly, HoNo! at The Politburo Diktat (4aa448) — 6/16/2006 @ 5:46 amThe clips are pretty funny but not all that rare in the lefty blogosphere. Each time I try to post sensible comments on Kevin Drum’s blog, I get a flood of obscenity from his commenters. I think they believe it makes them sound manly. The fact that they would try to make a big deal of the comments on a non-lefty blog isn’t that impressive. Some of them are funny. Some aren’t that far from the lyrics of the hip-hop music my daughter listens to.
He is kind of obsessed but the lefty obsession with Rove and Plame is a clinical phenomenon that will be studied some day as an example of popular delusions and the madness of crowds.
Mike K (416363) — 6/16/2006 @ 6:05 amYou can’t treat everybody the same, some folks simply don’t deserve it. There are some people who simply need a 55 gallon drum of ass-whoopin’; with a side order of boot to the head. I know what J. R. R. Tolkien said about those who deserve death and those who deserve laugh, but sometimes you just gotta remove some jerk from the gene pool.
Would be nice if sweetness and light could cure everything, but it don’t. You have to be ready to defend yourself, and that means being ready to hurt people.
As this paladin once said, “I have nothing against orcs expressing themselves. What bothers me is the fact that expression usually takes the form of rape, rapine, and murder.”
Alan Kellogg (b76949) — 6/16/2006 @ 6:43 amsome of the material in the link struck me as juvenile, superficially articulate but the product of a confused and distracted mind. just how old are these people anyway?
assistant devil's advocate (24154e) — 6/16/2006 @ 6:57 amno patterico, i don’t think you’re a total cretin either (since you raised the issue) but i do have a question for you.
yesterday’s 5-4 supreme court decision dispensing with the requirement of knocking before executing a search warrant (and dispensing with the notion of stare decisis too); for or against? since you’re a prosecutor, my first guess would be that you’re in favor of it, in which case i would ask you: have you ever seen a supreme court ruling in favor of police/prosecution that you felt went too far in curtailing the rights of citizens, and if so, which ones?
yesterday’s 5-4 supreme court decision dispensing with the requirement of knocking before executing a search warrant . . .
It did no such thing.
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/16/2006 @ 6:59 amWah. This thread is like a proscenium of people we’ve recently made fun of….
Jeff, he actually didn’t spend hours and hours on it. It was a quick Google on the terms ‘Jeff Goldstein’ and ‘cock’ (literally), with some embellishments.
Sadly, No! Research Labs (243eca) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:47 am[…] Apparently for this clueless-fucktard dumb post by Patterico. […]
Sadly, No! » Cockadoodledumb (d83a19) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:59 amJeff’s site is one of my regular blogs to visit. I consider myself a devotee. But there’s something about Jeff that just pisses off the lefty bloggers. I think it’s that he has such a way of using words to cut people apart as if with a sharp knife. It’s done so cleanly, yet so mercilessly. And when he’s right, he’s right…which is most of the time.
I’ve seen the moonbats really get personal with the man. Last was a month ago with a group led by a junior college professor from back east, who runs (or rather, RAN) a blog that made the most mean-spirited and personal attack against another blogger that I have ever seen. It was orchestrated for maximum effect, until Jeff and like-minded bloggers and site visitors pushed back very hard, so much that the other guy had to shut down his blog. I think Jeff exposes the sheer humorlessness of the Left. They take themselves so damm seriously as the protectors of TRUTH, that they’ve become such easy targets, and unsuccessful in elections.
Oh, and Patrick……..I cancelled my LAT this week. I couldn’t take the predictability of it any longer. I may as well subscribe to the Village Voice to get that pont of view.
Brian (b0d240) — 6/16/2006 @ 5:19 pmInteresting, innit? What one considers “funny” is really quite revealing about one’s self.
nobody (c62248) — 6/16/2006 @ 7:06 pmOne needs to be a wingnut to be rational? Because the ONLY people who find Goldstein hilarious are his fellow ideological travlers.
I guess I’m just an old-fashioned prude, because if someone were to repeatedly post about slapping their dick in my face, my reaction would be “what the hell is wrong with you?” Of course, if they said it in person or over the phone, I’d get a restraining order . . .
Geek, Esq. (98b2cc) — 6/16/2006 @ 8:14 pmsite visitors pushed back very hard, so much that the other guy had to shut down his blog.
That one’s plucked straight out of the David Irving school of historiography. No mention at all of how the pastemongers monomaniacally sniffed out the identity of the ‘other guy’ and his wife, fr’instance. And we won’t go into the tinfoil logic that leads said pastemongers to contend that said blogger anonymously made obscene comments about his own daughter. For frigging shame.
Luther Blissett (e07c58) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:04 pmI guess I’m just an old-fashioned prude, because if someone were to repeatedly post about slapping their dick in my face, my reaction would be “what the hell is wrong with you?” Of course, if they said it in person or over the phone, I’d get a restraining order . . .
It all depends on how you say it.
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:06 pmGeek
Repeatedly? Nope. It was only repeated by those that attend the Church of the Our Lady of Perpertual Indignation.
Luther
No one “sniffed out” Andrew, his public teaching record WITH pics of this wife were posted on his friend and one of his defender’s sites. Andrew made a mistake similar to Micah Wright — attacking someone who had the bonafides to challenge him. Pity his community college students.
Darleen (81f712) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:22 pmNo one “sniffed out” Andrew, his public teaching record WITH pics of this wife were posted on his friend and one of his defender’s sites. Andrew made a mistake similar to Micah Wright — attacking someone who had the bonafides to challenge him. Pity his community college students.
That’s not entirely the case, no. In fact, I’d say that’s spin.
But Jeff made a mistake similar to Micah Wright — attacking someone, like he did, when there was a pirate-ship of bad, ugly people like us drifting around in the harbor, who’d previously announced that we wouldn’t let people be attacked like that.
Words hurled around online are one thing, but physically threatening people in real life is no-go. No good, cannot pass.
Sadly, No! Research Labs (243eca) — 6/16/2006 @ 11:52 pmSNRL
but physically threatening people in real life is no-go
Are you trying to peddle the mendacity, created and promulgated by Thirsty himself, that Jeff (or someone Jeff knows) threatened him? Jeff repeated asked Thirsty for the IP address of the alledged commenter…. and was repeatedly brushed off and given excuses.
Thirsty thought he could make snarky comments about someone’s work without ever reading it. He got righteously and justifibly spanked.
I suggest you all Get.Help. with you strange obsession.
meshugga
Darleen (81f712) — 6/17/2006 @ 12:02 amPatterico-
Great post. I for one happen to think JG is hilarious, and quite effective, given that this douchebag at SN spent hours of his life devoted to crying like a pussy about the audacity of Jeff to respond to the left in their own language. (personally, methinks they all secretly WANT Jeff’s ‘mushroom stamp’ of approval, but that’s another matter).
Anyway, like the site Patterico, keep up the good work.
Oh, and SNRL, after reading your post about pirate ships and the like, it sounds like you took a wrong turn at the Pirates of the Caribbean blog.
And you should really talk to someone about your pirate fantasies, that’s not normal, man.
And BTW, calling Patterico a fucktard because he defended Jeff’s right to free speech, and then acting like your circle jerk leader’s little homage to Jeff did anything more than provide the lot of us with a hilarious trip down memory lane of Jeff’s best material, is the act of a worthless fucking coward.
So congrats on that.
You. Fucking. Coward.
P.S. feel free to respond. I’d love to trade info and talk about you’re apparent lack of testicles in person. I mean, a “pirate” like you doesn’t have any problem backing up his cyber-talk with a little less conversation and a little more action, right?
Just keep in mind that I would probably give you a cock slapping as well.
Only I call it the “Goldstien Treatment”
V
Veritas (15f590) — 6/17/2006 @ 3:04 amJust keep in mind that I would probably give you a cock slapping as well.
Crappy spelling? Check.
Latent homoerotic passive aggression? Check.
Obsequious devotion to the Lord of all Paste? Check.
Stupid faux-Latin pseudonym?
I think you just proved Retardo’s point even more effectively than Darleen. Unfortunately, you don’t get a prize.
Luther Blissett (e07c58) — 6/17/2006 @ 5:26 amYou (and Luther) and continue to push this canard all you want, but those of us who know better and were present for the fight know better. The end result shows who had the upper hand, and who was right: Jeff’s site is still active, Metacomments is not. Thersites and his vulgar and anonymous gang of “pirates” scooted away rather quickly when others finally said “enough’s enough” and pushed back hard. They were fucking with the wrong people, and eventually revealed the cowardly side of the Left. Funny how that side seems to be the ONLY side they have.
Brian (2febd2) — 6/17/2006 @ 8:02 amLuther, what the hell is it with you and the gay-themed insult? This is not becoming of a person who represents the tolerant ones in our society. Back to sensitivity training for you!
One can see this gay obsession everywhere in the liberal blogosphre, where the subject may be Jeff Gannon, threatening to “out” a public servant, Larry Johnson accusing a blogger of being a homosexual with the hots for Bush, or you accusing a fellow commenter of latent homosexuality. Who again needs the help here?
Brian (2febd2) — 6/17/2006 @ 8:09 amRepeatedly = more than once. He made those comments at least three times.
Seriously, I’d be outraged if someone posted that kind of garbage under my handle.
Patterico: There’s a good way to threaten to slap a stranger in the face with one’s penis?
[Yes. The way Goldstein threatens it. Because it’s funny. — P]
Geek, Esq. (a71694) — 6/17/2006 @ 9:13 amI guess I’ll have to take your word for it.
Geek, Esq. (bcc8a7) — 6/17/2006 @ 11:00 amYou can make words all you like, but words don’t create facts.
Oh, the irony!
Fact: Thirsty admitted he never read Jeff’s course notes, but felt he could still make a judgement about them.
Fact: Thirsty claimed an alleged “threatening” comment was from a JG commenter and that JG approved, but he never substantiated such a claim in any manner. AND he is still claiming it.
Fact: Thirsty’s public bonafides are, like, public. JG did indeed, at Thirsty’s request, remove even those PUBLICLY AVAILABLE FACTS from his comment section when he became aware of them. JG stopped removing those references when Thirsty revealed himself as not acting in good-faith (see previous fact).
That’s a major problem with the Left cult. They live in an alternative reality and are hostile to any challenge to it.
Darleen (81f712) — 6/17/2006 @ 12:50 pmJeff Goldstein: sophomoric psychobabble used for mental masturbation.
I cant make up my mind if hes more like Beavis or Butthead.
[Beavis and Butthead. Now *they’re* funny. — P]
Psyberian (dd13d6) — 6/17/2006 @ 1:23 pmJeez, all the SNRL cockraoches are showing up.
Like Darleen and others, I was there when Thersites and his merry band of Hamsherites and atriots spent months attacking Jeff G in the fairly vulgar ways. Mostly it was not very inventive. And he is supposed to be an english professor!?
Jeff spent his time arguing from the high road and sliced Thersites to intellectual ribbons. He cause was ever taken up at an academic site and they (the academic site) agrred with Jeff on his arguments.
Once Thersites started to lose the argument so badly that it was obvious to everyone, he started to bring his daughter into an argument with one of his regular commentors on his own blog. That person made a really vulgar comment about Thersites kid. He then posted that this was because of Jeff G. Jeff G challenged him for the IP address and said he would find out if it was one of PWs commentors and give the name and email to Thersites. Thersites backed down and a few days later started clammering for help from his leftard friends claiming that Jeff G personally approved the attack.
Sorry, but I believe with some degree of confidence that Thersites is lying and planned the whole thing as a diversion from the truly monumental ass whupping he was getting intellectualy from Jeff G.
As to the outing and threats, pure BS. One of Thersites buddies had their real identies (http://dohiyimir.typepad.com/) posted all over his site. A commentor at PW found it in 10 seconds. Jeff, to his credit deleted the post as soon as he logged on. The key thing about how fast it was to find them is that Thersites and MaryNY were slandering and sock puppeting Ann Althouses blog for the better part of a year. A year of endless attacks by a pair of community college “associate profs”. Ann Althouse discovered their identities and announced them.
Just after his asswhupping at Jeff Place, Thersites went back to Ann’s blog to try start anouther fight with her.
I think it is quite clear who the people with the strange obsession are.
And Geek, I find it hilarious that you complain about the use of the word cock considering all the posts I found with your name on them about sex rape fantasies about Michelle Malkin. Jesus man, you are one sick little puppy. Do your kids know you say crap like that?
capt joe (636a9f) — 6/17/2006 @ 9:39 pmFact: Darleen is lying.
Big Worm (5510be) — 6/18/2006 @ 6:38 amGreenwald, SNRL, the lot of you are hypocrites whenever you claim about violation of privacy.
capt joe (636a9f) — 6/18/2006 @ 2:35 pmThe post by ‘Alan’ about Orcs REALLY brings this whole thread to a grand conclusion: You, and the readers of your blog, are basement-dwelling, cheeto-stained, d&d playing armchair warriors, (much like your god Goldstain) who do nothing but sit around all day dreaming up tough-guy routines in their heads about how to really run a ‘good’ war, while never actually, you know, putting boots on the ground.
So for you and Jeff to huff and puff like you’re the stuff is pretty pathetic. You’re a tough guy, huh? So why don’t you and Jeff join the armed forces and apply your tough guy rhetoric? You know, actually DO the things you do playing counter-strike in between jerkoff sessions.
I love to hear you people call jeff ‘smart’. His almost-phd almost makes him seem like that, while his meaning-obfuscating verbiage covers up what little arguments he tries to defend. It’s like reading a book by someone who heard about doing something instead of actually DOING something. Good luck with that tho. And thanks for supporting an illegal war based on lies.
Shorter Rightwing Assholes (49460c) — 6/20/2006 @ 1:38 pmSick and tired of disgusting “humor” based on male parts. Take it back to Jeff’s. He seems to know how to deal with it.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/20/2006 @ 1:40 pmI thought this question would fit under Sadly, Hilarious!.
Does anyone know why the heck Connie Chung did this? It seems really self-destructive. Not to take away from the thread in progress, but like a phantom troll, it’s pretty strange humor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7IcNiLvv_Q
Vermont Neighbor (a9ae2c) — 6/20/2006 @ 2:01 pmHm, I’m with Anwyn on this, and not just because of her name.
I meant to ask you this when you first commented, Dafydd, and somehow neglected to. Dunno if you’ll see this. What’s up with my name? 🙂 anwyn at theonering dot net will get to me.
Anwyn (01a5cc) — 6/28/2006 @ 10:21 pm[…] Pattycake Pattycake, Pasty’s flack; Axe-handles, cock-slapping, Thers’s kid — ack! – You’re now and always Pasty’s man; But Greenwald cites “Retardo”– ‘proof’ he’s a sham! […]
Sadly, No! » Retardo “Dice” Clay (d83a19) — 7/31/2006 @ 11:55 pmJust a question:
Could someone explain to me WHY anyone, anywhere,
ANONYMOUS (993e1a) — 8/2/2006 @ 10:35 pmshould think any of this matters ?