Patterico's Pontifications

6/15/2006

Sadly, Hilarious!

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 9:46 pm

I heard about this lengthy Sadly, No! diatribe against Jeff Goldstein, and clicked over, fully prepared to fly into a righteous outrage at the shabby treatment of my pal.

But a funny thing happened. They quote Goldstein extensively in the post — to bitterly mock him, of course — and I started chuckling as I read block quote after block quote of Goldstein’s hilarious insults against lefty jerks. My anger at the nasty things the Sadly, No! folks were saying dissipated as I started laughing out loud at the clever way with words that Goldstein has.

Don’t get me wrong. It is an outrageous post, and these guys are cretins.

And . . . strangely obsessed with Goldstein.

But Goldstein ends up looking good, to anyone who is rational and has a sense of humor. Because the quotes are just so damn funny.

UPDATE: And also not terribly polite. It’s Goldstein, folks. If you click over expecting Jeff to be talking about tea and crumpets, then you may be shocked. It’s more like Jeff talking about slapping people in the face with a certain part of his anatomy which is not his hand.

UPDATE x2: Honestly, the energy these people put into trying to destroy one guy is really amazing. In thoroughness and obsessiveness, the Sadly, No! post reminds me somewhat of my own Dog Trainer Year in Review posts. With two major differences — ehh, maybe three.

First, in my year-end posts, I’m taking on a major newspaper — meaning my obsessiveness is a little more justified than this craziness over a blogger. Second, my target comes off looking worse, not better, by the end of the enterprise. Third — and this is really the key point, I think, though some might disagree — unlike the folks at Sadly, No!, I am not a total cretin. If I do say so myself.

See Dubya thinks these guys may be so obsessed that they could end up going through Goldstein’s garbage — and damned if they don’t seem unbalanced enough to actually do it.

UPDATE x3: Is there any way to explain to these guys how stupid they are? They take something utterly ridiculous like “cock-slapping” and treat it seriously, which is just sub-moron stuff to begin with. Then, proceeding from the assumption that “cock-slapping” threats are meant seriously, they mock it for being . . . ridiculous. Which was the whole point to begin with — and the hint for those of us who are sentient that Jeff was KIDDING.

Man. Nobody in the world looks as stupid as the guy who doesn’t know that a joke is a joke.

Your Affiant Took a Picture of the Following Doormat . . .

Filed under: Court Decisions,Crime,Humor — Patterico @ 6:49 pm

Via Mike Lief (via commenter Anwyn) comes this link to the “Come back with a warrant” doormat.

Available at Target, of all places.

I’m pretty sure that these doormats provide independent probable cause for entry into the residence.

P.S. If you choose to purchase the doormat, make sure you are abreast of the most recent Supreme Court case law. As of today, police officers who take up your doormat’s suggestion may not be doing too much knocking and announcing when they return with that warrant. They’re still supposed to — but if they don’t, the evidence they seize won’t be suppressed at your trial. So you might want to go ahead and dispose of your contraband now.

Proof that Real Life Beats Parody

Filed under: Morons,Terrorism — Patterico @ 6:02 am

In this video clip (h/t Allah), you see the Iranian Foreign Minister say:

We emphasize the peaceful nature of our nuclear weapons… I mean… of our nuclear power plant…

D’oh!

Soccer as Allegory

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 6:01 am

Germany overran Poland yesterday, while millions of English-speaking people stood by and watched.

Now where have I seen this before?

UPDATE: I am reminded of a passage from a great Tom Lehrer song:

Once all the Germans were warlike, and mean
But that couldn’t happen again
We taught them a lesson in 1918
And they’ve hardly bothered us since then

UPDATE x2: My friend Abe said yesterday that he raised an eyebrow when he learned that the winning goal had been scored by an allegedly German player with the suspiciously French-sounding name “Oliver Neuville.” “I’d check his papers,” Abe said.

Oh, I’m sure the Germans already checked his papers, Abe. They’re quite good at that.


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