Patterico: 184 Times the Jerk T.J. Simers Is
An article in Los Angeles Magazine begins:
If you googled “T.J. Simers” together with “jerk,” about 248 hits would come up. That considerable number is misleading, however, because Simers hasn’t finished tomorrow’s sports column yet. Being a jerk isn’t static. It’s a life mission.
248 is a considerable number? But what happens if you Google “Patterico” together with “jerk”? That’s right, baby: 45,600 hits. (That’s almost 184 times as many as Simers.)
Okay, that sounds about right. But the whole theory kind of falls apart when you Google “Patterico” together with “genius” and come up with 70,000 results.
Maybe there’s something wrong with the author’s methodology, ya think?
Or maybe this Simers guy is just a hell of a nice fellow . . .
It does NOT mean that you’re 184 times a bigger jerk than T.J. Simers—it merely means that the foaming-at-the-mouth left wing bloggers are all writing about you—all 70,000 of them !—much more so than distressed readers of the LA Times sports page are writing about Simers’lame columns.
And naturally, they’re referring to you as a “jerk,” because you’re shining a light on their angry left-wing antics.
But I’ll bet Michael Hiltzik might be responsible for 250 of those hits, alone !
Ha, ha, ha.
What it ultimately reveals is that you have a much bigger impact on the blogosphere than T.J. Simers does.
But I would submit that T.J. isn’t even the biggest jerk on staff at the LA Times sports page—that distinction belongs to the anti-American, President Bush-hating, soccer columnist by the name of Grahame Jones.
Desert Rat (d8da01) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:01 pm(whoops…instead of “70,000,” I ought to have written “45,600.”)
Desert Rat (d8da01) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:03 pmTJ Simers works on the dying, MSM, LATimes (and is probably hastening its demise).
Pat works on the internet, on a blog, the new media.
So of course Pat has more hits, he works in the
Jack (b8f405) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:09 pmrelevant segment of today’s media.
Plus I’m a bigger jerk!
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:13 pmThat’s hilarious!
Ok, my small potatoes numbers are:
Psyberian Jerk: 196
Psyberian Genius: 254
Let’s see, 196/254 is 77%. Hmm, so I’m 77% on the Googlia-Jerko-Genius meter…
Patterico, your Googlia-Jerko-Genius meter reading is only 65%; meaning that you are less of a jerk than me.
Hey, what can I say? I was a philosophy major, OK?
Psyberian (dd13d6) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:27 pmThis looks about right: xrlq jerk yields 14,900 hits while xrlq genius yields a paltry 13,500. Then again, my sample is skewed ‘cuz I’m banned from Google. I’m sure if Google counted all the posts in which I identified myself as a genius, I’d at least break even.
Xrlq (51d90f) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:33 pmHow did you get banned from Google?
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:50 pmI did better than Angry Clam though. Did you Google Angry Clam’s too Patterico? I won’t dare mention the numbers but, pitiful, just pitiful.
Psyberian (dd13d6) — 6/4/2006 @ 7:50 pmI Googled “Red Skelton” with jerk and then genius, thinking that this would be a good name to test. Here are the numbers:
Red Skelton Jerk: 956
Red Skelton Genius: 30,600
So his Googlia-Jerko-Genius ratio is only 3% and that makes sense. But then again he isn’t associated with politics. I don’t think you can be politically active and not have a fairly big ratio there. Kevin Drum’s, for instance, was about 61%.
Psyberian (dd13d6) — 6/4/2006 @ 8:12 pmI googled Ray with Jerk and I came up with 3,360,000. Man, people must hate me!
Then I googled Ray with genius and came up with 12,800,000. No wonder why they hate me!
Ray (be81f9) — 6/4/2006 @ 8:24 pmFor selling subdomains to a link farm.
Xrlq (51d90f) — 6/4/2006 @ 8:47 pmInteresting. I still get Google hits.
Patterico (50c3cd) — 6/4/2006 @ 8:50 pmHmm, “Patterico” and “moron” generate 130000 hits, of which the first is particularly impressive.
James B. Shearer (874eb4) — 6/5/2006 @ 1:30 amMine said 125 jerks and 125 geniuses.
But when I looked closer it is actually 39 jerk and 26 genius. So I’m guessing Google just rounds it off in some predetermined way?
In any case its kind of dubious to be rated 50% more of an asshole than a thoughtful guy, or a damning -66% on the Googlia-Jerko-Genius-O-Meter. :p
Dwilkers (a1687a) — 6/5/2006 @ 5:19 amjerk and genius
I score 1.2 on the Simers scale with 852 jerks and 696 geniuses using the name “Doc Rampage”.
Doc Rampage (59ce3a) — 6/5/2006 @ 1:20 pm+mcgehee +jerk — ~9,750
+mcgehee +genius — ~29,000
…I need to get out more.
McGehee (5664e1) — 6/7/2006 @ 3:06 pmdude t.j. simers in the best. somehow people don’t understand the guy, maybe because they take everything at face value
zack (ebc794) — 8/10/2006 @ 3:41 pm