Patterico's Pontifications

5/29/2006

Well, He *Was* Good At Cover-Ups . . .

Filed under: Dog Trainer,General,Morons — Patterico @ 12:47 am



The L.A. Times supports Bill Clinton for U.N. Secretary-General, arguing that he is popular throughout the world. In a quote I swear I am not making up, the editors say:

Clinton also could bridge the growing divide between Washington and much of the world. He has been all but beatified in Africa, where his foundation has negotiated big discounts on drugs for treating AIDS. European heads of state eat out of his hand, and even the most hostile elements in the Arab world respect him as a peacemaker. He is so well known in China that a condom has been named after him, and his support in the U.S. cuts a swath across the ideological and socioeconomic spectrum, from billionaires to evangelicals to inner-city minorities.

See, you don’t believe me. You think that the part in bold is something I inserted for humor purposes.

Fine, don’t believe me. Read the editorial yourself, if you can stand to. You’ll see.

What do you want to bet that the person who wrote this is the same nincompoop who repeatedly pushed for Bono to be the head of the World Bank?

UPDATE: Commenter Dana points out that U.S. citizens are barred from the job anyway:

The Security Council nominates a Secretary-General to the General Assembly which then votes to appoint the Council’s choice. The Security Council is barred from nominating an individual that is from one of Security Council’s five permanent members (China, France, Russia, UK, U.S.

So when the editorial says:

It would be unprecedented for a secretary-general to hail from a country that is among the Security Council’s five permanent members.

Well, there’s a reason for that.

Maybe there’s an exception for people who have Chinese condoms named after them.

20 Responses to “Well, He *Was* Good At Cover-Ups . . .”

  1. I recommend reading the entire “editorial”. It’s all as funny as the excerpt our host quoted. It reads like a parody or a humor column left over from April 1. Seriously, if tripe like this is the work product of the “editors” at LAT no wonder the news stories stink.

    nk (41da82)

  2. You got to be f’n kidding me, man. Bill Clinton of Monica Lewinski, Gennifer Flowers fame and allegedly:

    Juanita Broaddrick (AR) – rape
    Eileen Wellstone (Oxford) – rape
    Elizabeth Ward Gracen – rape – quid pro quo, post incident intimidation
    Regina Hopper Blakely – “forced himself on her, biting, bruising her”
    Kathleen Willey (WH) – sexual assault, intimidations, threats
    Sandra Allen James (DC) – sexual assault
    22 Year Old 1972 (Yale) – sexual assault
    Kathy Bradshaw (AK) – sexual assault
    Cristy Zercher – unwelcomed sexual advance, intimidations
    Paula Jones (AR) – unwelcomed sexual advance, exposure, bordering on sexual assault
    Carolyn Moffet – unwelcomed sexual advance, exposure, bordering on sexual assault
    1974 student at University of Arkansas – unwelcomed physical contact
    1978-1980 – seven complaints per Arkansas state troopers
    Dolly Kyle Browning – post incident character assault
    Sally Perdue – post incident threats
    Betty Dalton – rebuffed his advances, married to one of his supporters
    Denise Reeder – apologetic note scanned

    gets a condom named after him and the Dog Trainer actually thinks this is a good thing?

    Chris from Victoria, BC (9824e6)

  3. Well, how else could the editorialist play up relations between Clinton and the Chinese? You hardly expect the Times to remind us of the Chinese fundraising scandal, do you?

    John Barrett Jr. (0bd716)

  4. I was going to write a parody of this but I found I just couldn’t do it, it stands alone when the editors of a major news daily write something like that. There’s just nothing else to say.

    Dwilkers (a1687a)

  5. The ignorance and total lack of class that pemeates the LAT is all wrapped up in this one “editorial.”

    And it’s not just ignorance….it’s the arrogance that exudes by assuming that their readers are nothing more than empty-headed hicks that will just eat up anything that’s fed to them.

    It appears that the Times is in an irreversible death spiral.

    Bill Schumm (33ab73)

  6. Sorry…..the word is “permeates.” But I’m still over-qualified to work there.

    Bill Schumm (33ab73)

  7. oh, you’re just jealous because nobody’s named a condom after you.
    i disagreed with a lot of things clinton did in office, but at least we had peace and prosperity. we weren’t spending a quarter trillion a year on a war with so little in tangible returns. we weren’t losing about two soldiers a day. we actually had a balanced federal budget and surpluses forecast for the future. multinational corporations were held in better check. it may be that our phone calls were being spied upon then too, i don’t know the details, but at least the chief executive didn’t tell us that he had the power to do whatever he wanted and damn the constitution. yes, i’m actually nostalgic for the era of white house blow jobs – nobody got killed, they didn’t cost a bank and the initial embarrassment wore off quickly.
    i don’t think bill clinton will ever be u.n. secretary-general. he’s an american. our relationship with the rest of the world is not as warm and fuzzy at it used to be, the world is apprehensive of its only remaining superpower and will not be bestowing leadership rank on an american, eponymous condom or no. i can see him becoming commissioner of baseball or football.

    assistant devil's advocate (24fac1)

  8. i can see him becoming commissioner of baseball or football.

    HAH!

    No way, that’s not nearly big enough for Bill’s ego.

    I’d put even money on Bush being commish of baseball within 5 years of leaving office though.

    Dwilkers (a1687a)

  9. Hey, Assistant Devil’s Advocate,

    I’m among the first to admit that I think the thing that really riles a lot of Conservatives about Clinton is that the President of the United States isn’t supposed to be banging the help. It doesn’t look nice. At least when JFK was schtupping Marilyn, she was the National Sex Symbol.

    But, face it, we might well not be fighting an expensive war if Clinton and his cronies had not spent eight years defunding the military, screwing up our intelligence capabilities, and appeasing barbarians in the hopes that hell wouldn’t break loose until Bill was out of office.

    Bill isn’t the worst President we ever had – both Woodrow Wilson and Andrew Johnson come to mind – but he was a mediocrity with nice hair, good teeth, and the ethics of a Hollywood Lawyer. He left an awful lot of messes for his successor to clean up, and the terror situation isn’t even the worst.

    C. S. P. Schofield (c1cf21)

  10. …at least we had peace and prosperity.

    It’s easy to have peace and prosperity when you refuse to see the wolves lurking in the front yard.

    McGehee (5664e1)

  11. “at least we had peace and prosperity”

    Ah, yes. No attacks on the World Trade Center, U.S. diplomatic and military installations. We were so peaceful we allowed missile technology to be sold to the Chinese. And let’s not forget that terrific deal we gave the North Koreans. This isn’t even dealing with the various “bimbo eruptions” and rape allegations for a sitting president. Yeah, 8 years of Bill Clinton was just about blowjobs.

    sharon (fecb65)

  12. Patterico:

    I’m not sure you’ve fully grasped the significance of the move to put the Philanderer-in-Chief in charge of the black helicopter gang. This isn’t just about the usual inane blather of the Dog Trainer praising Willie — without a trace of irony — for having a mini-condom named after him. (After all, it was Chinese money that helped him get elected in the first place. Remember Al Gore’s ‘no controlling legal authority’ comments about that one?)

    Imagine what Willie and Hil and their Socialist, er, Democratic, gang could do if he’s running the UN, she’s running the White House, and Nancy Pelosi takes the reins in the Congress.

    This is not a far-fetched scenario.

    If you think the Slick One sold us down the river during his 8 years at the helm, just imagine what he and his smirking Wifey can do to us under the above scenario. I can just picture the red carpet being rolled out on the White House steps for our new friend President Ahmedinajad, who will be so grateful to us for the free gift of Iraq that he’ll only let his intelligence service nuke three major American cities instead of the five that are on their target list.

    dont_feed_the_liberals (1fb755)

  13. Chris from Victoria, BC:

    You left out Chelsea!

    Jack_S (b98169)

  14. “but at least we had peace and prosperity”

    Does that include the peace and prosperity of those that died on Ruby Ridge? Remember, armed authorities were engaged in a covet intelligence gathering operation of an American citizen on private property WITHOUT a search warrant. That covert operation lead to death and injury. Not very peaceful, was it!

    How about Waco? Peace and prosperity there? Did those people die peacefully? Did those babies burned peacefully? I think you have a new definition of peace and prosperity.

    Ray (be81f9)

  15. […] Patterico posted the following excerpt from the NYT re Bill for the UN: Clinton also could bridge the growing divide between Washington and much of the world. He has been all but beatified in Africa, where his foundation has negotiated big discounts on drugs for treating AIDS. European heads of state eat out of his hand, and even the most hostile elements in the Arab world respect him as a peacemaker. He is so well known in China that a condom has been named after him, and his support in the U.S. cuts a swath across the ideological and socioeconomic spectrum, from billionaires to evangelicals to inner-city minorities. […]

    Hang Right Politics - Archives » Condom Clinton at the UN (ab26d8)

  16. Patterico, perhaps if you informed the editors of your august newspaper that the Secretary-general of the United Nations cannot be a citizen of one of the five permanent members of the Security Council, they’d understand.

    Q. Who elects the Secretary-General?

    A. The Security Council nominates a Secretary-General to the General Assembly which then votes to appoint the Council’s choice. The Security Council is barred from nominating an individual that is from one of Security Council’s five permanent members (China, France, Russia, UK, U.S.).

    How brilliant must the editors be, to push for the nomination of an ineligible man? The editors wrote:

    It would be unprecedented for a secretary-general to hail from a country that is among the Security Council’s five permanent members.

    Of course it would be unprecedented, you morons: it’s prohibited!

    Dana (dd8e7e)

  17. Actually, this isn’t the first I’ve heard of Mr Clinton pushing to become Secretary-General. The libs like the idea because they somehow see the job as President of the World, so he’d outrank his successor as President of the United States.

    But, even if he were eligible, can anyone really see Bill Clinton as a dull functionary?

    Dana (dd8e7e)

  18. Jack_S, you said:

    “You left out Chelsea!”

    That was totally uncalled for.

    That tends not only to call Bill Clinton’s sexual character (and alleged criminal character vis-a-vis rape and assault) into question, which is justified, it implies that he assaulted on a family member, which is not justified by any available evidence or even allegation. It is also insulting and unnecessarily wounding to Chelsea Clinton and I believe it is a reproachable statement of yours.

    I categorically repudiate you for it.

    Chris from Victoria, BC (9824e6)

  19. Send Bill to Turtle Bay

    Late last year, Parag Khanna of the Brookings Institution argued in Harper’s (January ’06) that the next Secretary-General of the United Nations ought to be William Jefferson Clinton. Said I…

    dustbury.com (5a1bcd)

  20. I can see a perfect compromise. We drop out of the UN and then Bill can be elected SecGen. Works for me.

    Ken Hahn (6b0d3e)


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