Patterico's Pontifications

3/28/2006

The Onion Does Joel Stein

Filed under: Buffoons,Dog Trainer,Morons — Patterico @ 10:10 pm

You really should head over to The Onion. They have this brilliant guy there mocking the L.A. Times‘s hyper-vapid and buffoonish columnist Joel Stein. The writer captures Stein’s unbelievable self-absorption perfectly, in a parody column titled 500,000 people, and no one called me? (At the Onion, they write the titles first and the article second.) Here’s how it opens:

NONE OF YOU thought of calling? I mean, I could see if it was a small dinner party: You thought I wouldn’t mesh well; you already had a smugly self-obsessed, attention-needy columnist, maybe Mickey Kaus — I get it. But there were 500,000 of you at Saturday’s pro-immigration rally downtown, more than 13% of the city’s population, the largest gathering ever in L.A. This was a snub.

Did you think I didn’t own a white T-shirt to symbolize peace? Because I do. And I adore immigrants.

My great-grandparents were immigrants. And I’m pretty sure the guy who waters our plants is, though I don’t talk to him much because he only speaks Spanish.

And it goes on like that. Hilarious. This guy is a genius. He totally has Stein pegged.

UPDATE: I’m told this is really Joel Stein’s actual column. Sorry for any confusion.

It’s Really No Mystery . . .

Filed under: Immigration — Patterico @ 9:53 pm

The local rag reports:

Thousands of students walked out of high schools in Los Angeles and across Southern California this morning as protests against restrictions on immigration spread across the city for a fourth day.

John Cole says:

I really don’t know what to make of this.

I do. It’s more fun to protest something than to go to school.

The Return of Chef

Filed under: Buffoons,Humor — Patterico @ 8:48 pm

Did anyone see the latest South Park? My prediction that Chef would die a bloody, horrible, and painful death came true . . . sort of.

P.S. I can’t resist quoting from the eulogy for Chef (I think Stan gave it):

A lot of us don’t agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days. Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can’t let the events of the past few weeks take away the memories of how Chef made us smile.

We shouldn’t be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains.

I laughed out loud many, many times.

Quote Quiz #2

Filed under: General — Patterico @ 6:03 am

Ah, the quote quiz. It’s fast becoming a Tuesday morning tradition here at Patterico.

Here’s how it works: I toss out the quotes. You answer without Googling or reading the comments. Most of you shrug your shoulders in confusion. CraigC and Mrs. P. mop the floor with the rest of you.

5 points for each correct band/artist. 1 point for each correct song title.

One of the quotes is relatively timely. You get 5 bonus points if you can tell me which one, and why.

Here they are:

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