Patterico's Pontifications

Coke Zero? FAUGHHHH!!! there is only one perfect soft drink, Diet Pepsi Vanilla. All else is mere slop.

John Cunningham (7496da) — 2/14/2006 @ 6:34 pm

Cheerwine.

Eagle1 (6c71da) — 2/14/2006 @ 6:35 pm

Coke Zero, yup.

paul (464e99) — 2/14/2006 @ 6:50 pm

Ugh, Patterico. I just opened up a can of proper Coca-Cola, and everytime I drink from it I’m reminded as to why Coke is the greatest drink around.

Coke Zero is alright, but comparing it to Coke is like comparing Bush to Reagan (don’t take this analogy too far).

Leigh (3af625) — 2/14/2006 @ 6:54 pm

Is that like being the Diet Coke of evil? Just one calorie of evil, not evil enough?

Xrlq (839872) — 2/14/2006 @ 7:16 pm

Wrong. Diet Lime Coke is sublime.

Consigliere (3f8ad8) — 2/14/2006 @ 7:23 pm

I like Root Beer myself. Diet soda just tastes like it’s giving you cancer.

jvarisco (2c5028) — 2/14/2006 @ 7:53 pm

Beer.

Psyberian (1cf529) — 2/14/2006 @ 7:59 pm

All the infidels that have strayed from the path of “real coke” will feel the wrath of the faithful.
A fatwah on you oh drinker of heresy.

Lew Clark (67eb6c) — 2/14/2006 @ 8:25 pm

Mountain Dew, Nectar Of The Tards

PC14 (98b75e) — 2/14/2006 @ 8:27 pm

Pepsi, bitches.

Tom (eb6b88) — 2/14/2006 @ 10:12 pm

I’m with you on Coke Zero. It’s what Diet Coke aspires to be.

Brett (d37285) — 2/14/2006 @ 10:49 pm

What’s the difference between Diet Coke and Coke Zero? Is one sweeter? More carbonated? Thicker? Bluer?

Dafydd

Dafydd (6e94cd) — 2/14/2006 @ 11:34 pm

Kosher Coke still has real sugar. Hunt some down. You really don’t remember how good pre-“Classic” Coke was until you taste it again. You’ll be stunned.

Coke Zero is abomination stacked on abomination.

Passerby (98976d) — 2/15/2006 @ 12:08 am

I think Jolt Cola is still around (“All the sugar and twice the caffine.”) Now I know it is, having looked it up; it appears that another company has bought the brand, and now it’s packaged in a can that looks like a battery. I used to like it very muck.

Brian (c14715) — 2/15/2006 @ 2:59 am

“Old” Sundrop when they had the bits of citrus floating in them. Now its just like Mountain Dew.

BillyBoy (e8cc0d) — 2/15/2006 @ 4:39 am

Nothing will replace Dr. Celray!

Gbear (6a100c) — 2/15/2006 @ 5:07 am

Dafydd,

Coke Zero is like a thicker Pepsi Max.

Leigh (3af625) — 2/15/2006 @ 5:21 am

If Coke Zero, Diet Coke, and Diet Pepsi were the only three soft drinks left on the planet, then Coke Zero would be the best. Maybe it’s just me, but Coke Zero tastes NOTHING like Coke Classic. Ugh.

Andy (6feefb) — 2/15/2006 @ 6:14 am

Four thousand years ago, the gods on Mount Olympus decided that they needed something to wash down the food of the gods, which is, as we all know, sushi. Well, Dionysius provided wine and Hephaestus provided beer, and these worked fairly well, but the gods kept waking up with these terrible hangovers, and they decided that they needed something non-alcoholic to drink with their sushi.

Zeus, the King of the Gods, assigned this noble task to his daughter, Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom. She labored mightily for 476 years, and finally came up with a drink that the gods called ambrosia.

Naturally, the gods knew that ambrosia was too good for mortal men, so they kept the secret.

Until . . .

. . . one day, in 1964, when Zeus was visiting earth to seduce a mortal maiden. Zeus was dallying with a gorgeous redhead, when he heard the [clomp][clomp][clomp] of boots coming up the stairs. The King of the Gods jumped out the window, but Zeus had left his blue jeans on the girl’s bedroom floor.

Well, it just so happened, that the girl’s father worked at the local Pepsi-Cola Bottling Company, and, as fate would have it, Zeus had left a copy of the recipe for ambrosia in his jeans’ pocket.

And ever since that day, we have had Mountain Dew™ here on earth!

Dana (3e4784) — 2/15/2006 @ 7:08 am

GUINNESS!!! All the rest is slop!

Glenn Beebe (ed5905) — 2/15/2006 @ 7:12 am

C2 is the crack of colas. Do they still sell it?

Matto Ichiban (4d4be8) — 2/15/2006 @ 9:28 am

You want to discuss different flavors of COKE, go right ahead bub, but do not diss beer, which, as we all know, is the greatest DRINK OF ALL TIME.

rightnumberone (564c96) — 2/15/2006 @ 9:36 am

And it doesn’t matter which beer either. It’s all the same horse.

Ridolph (4beaa8) — 2/15/2006 @ 11:17 am

I think Jolt Cola is still around (”All the sugar and twice the caffine.”) Now I know it is, having looked it up; it appears that another company has bought the brand, and now it’s packaged in a can that looks like a battery. I used to like it very muck.

Jolt Cola changed its catch line to simply “Twice the caffeine”. I bought some in 2000, and it was sweetened with high-fructose corn syrup. Tasted like crap.

Steverino (5533e8) — 2/15/2006 @ 11:48 am

I actually like RC Cola the best out of all the brown cola drinks I’ve tried over the years (though I prefer Buffalo Rock ginger ale to just about anything). Of course, I’m from the south, and I think that having a rabid loyalty to RC or Double Cola may be a requirement here.

Laudio (06d15b) — 2/15/2006 @ 1:26 pm

Diet Coke, rot in hell you godless infidels bastards.

John (b1fa9b) — 2/15/2006 @ 5:08 pm

The best softdrink ever made is the original coke in small green bottles. It is made of real sugar, not corn syrup. The sugar lobby keeps sugar prices artifically high so the company has switched to corn syrup.

You can get it all the time in Italy. You can get it in Mexico. You can even get it here at Passover marked “kosher for Passover” because people who keep kosher cannot eat corn products then.
Trust me on this.

clarice (c49871) — 2/15/2006 @ 5:18 pm

Before coin operated drink machines, you rolled up your sleeve, looked down into the icy deceptive waters below, and measured out the target: Grape soda, cream cola, ginger ale, or Brown Mule. It was a test, the tank was as deep as a young boy could reach, and it was cold, up to the armpit cold.

And, if you missed, you had to go again.

Black Jack (d8da01) — 2/15/2006 @ 6:14 pm

Pattrick,that’s a given.Try to be a little controversial or I’m going to read Michael Hiltzik.

Lincoln (1d284b) — 2/15/2006 @ 6:50 pm

The last decent Coke product was real Tab, with Cylcimate. The FDA banned Cyclimate to pander to the false research of the Sugar Instiute (!) and then cleared it in 1984, but kept the ban. Cyclimate is used in the rest of the world, and as far as we know, they have no complaints.
Aspartame has two problems; the most serious and life threatening is that it tricks the body into believing that you have just ingested sugar, so your body releases insulin, but there’s no sugar for it to turn into fat (See a book called The Carbohydrate Addict’s Guide to a Healthy Heart for the details.) When I was swilling aspartame based sodas my morning blood sugar was 94 or below. Dropping them altogether for Selza water raised my blood sugar in the morning to about 120 (that’s sugar not turned into fat on me.) As to the arguments that it causes neural damage, I do not know enough about that end of it.
Now, I tried Coke Zero when it came out, along with the version of Diet Coke they test marketed locally here in MA with aspartame, and they tasted OK. On the other hand, despite being a Type II diabetic, I prefer _real_ sugar based coke, now available only Kosher for Passover and hellishly expensive. Neither the aspartame nor the corn syrup immitations are the Real Thingie.

John Costello (1353d5) — 2/15/2006 @ 8:47 pm

Tried Coke Zero once, which was one too many times. Same for Coke’s new version of cough syrup, Black Cherry-Vanilla Coke, ugh. Will have to survive for a few months on Coke from Mexico and my hoard of, no longer available, Vanilla Coke.

Pat Patterson (5b3946) — 2/16/2006 @ 4:28 am

2/14/2006

Unsolicited Testimonial

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