Patterico's Pontifications


Dumb-Ass Question Contest

Filed under: Humor,Judiciary — Patterico @ 7:09 am

Howard Bashman of the “How Appealing” blog is running a contest “to identify the most dumb-ass question that could possibly be asked of U.S. Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts, Jr. at his upcoming confirmation hearings.” Rules are here. The contest closes at 8 p.m. Eastern today.

My submission is based on a recent dumb-ass statement by Howard Dean. The dumb-ass question is:

Judge Roberts, do you agree with the president and his right-wing Supreme Court that it is “okay” to have the government take your house if they feel like putting a hotel where your house is?

Leave your entries in the comments.

30 Responses to “Dumb-Ass Question Contest”

  1. If Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered, would you favor an irrevocable death penalty for the killer?

    Kevin Murphy (6a7945)

  2. What’s your favorite color?

    Kevin Murphy (6a7945)

  3. If the flag desecration amendment were added to the Constitution, would it be illegal to burn a picture of a US flag printed on a tiny piece of litmus paper?

    Shredstar (91b3b2)

  4. Wouldn’t you agree that same-sex marriages are covered under the “penumbras” clause of the Constitution?

    D. Carter (385d49)

  5. Judge Roberts, just how would you interpret the privacy clause in the Constitution?

    Sister Toldjah (2e9349)

  6. Senator Byrd: “Judge Roberts, how can you justify the doctrine of constructionism in the face of overwhelming evidence that the law-making body – Congress – has occasionally shirked its responsibilities in the area of civil rights? I hasten to add that I’m NOT talking about the 1940’s. Or ’50s. Or, er, the 60’s. I’m talking about . . . well, more recent times.”

    D. Carter (385d49)

  7. All kidding aside, perhaps a BFL contest on “important questions to ask Judge Roberts” would be useful.

    Like “Does the 2nd Amendment guarantee an individual right to keep and bear arms?”

    Kevin Murphy (9982dd)

  8. Judge Roberts, do you agree with the President’s right-wing Supreme Court that getting an abortion in Guantanamo while high on medically-prescribed marijuana and/or drunk on wine shipped from another state (1) violates the Geneva Conventions, (2) constitutes cruel and unusual punishment if the fetus is under 18 years of age, or (3) violates the privacy clause of the U.S. Constitution unless the fetus’s stem cells are used for a public purpose?

    Xrlq (5ffe06)

  9. Judge Roberts, do you agree with a previous court ruling (Roe vs. Wade) that the right to an abortion can be found in the disseminations and umbrellas existing in our constitution?

    D. Carter (385d49)

  10. Judge Roberts if VP Cheney runs for President will you attend Helen Thomas’s funeral?

    r a benfield (6e9318)

  11. Judge Roberts, if VP Cheney runs for President will you select him President the same way Bush’s right-wing Supreme Court selected Bush to be President?

    Shredstar (91b3b2)

  12. Sir:

    (1) What assurances can you offer us that you are not as evil as the man who nominated you?


    (2) What assurances can you offer us, should you be confirmed to a seat on the Supreme Court, that women will not go back to having abortions in back alleys, that blacks will not again be lynched in the streets, that sweatshop labor will not return to America, that polluters will not be free to poison us with their toxins, that corrupt corporations will not cheat their inevstors of their hard-earned savings, that America will not be forced to pray at the altar of intolerance, and that our young men and women in uniform will not be sent off to fight wars based on lies and ensuring a steady stream of Halliburton dividends?


    What assurances can you offer us that you will never, ever overrule the wishes of the people by voting to put the likes of George Bush in the White House?

    steve sturm (d3e296)

  13. Judge Roberts, is it possible to be a devout Catholic and utter a legitimate oath to uphold the Constitution?

    Al (00c56b)

  14. We have a winner!
    I won’t even attempt to compete with Mr.sturm und drung.Even Jonathon Swift would tip his hat at that satire.Those are real dumb ass questions.

    lincoln (a2b654)

  15. ISN’T IT TRUE, Judge Roberts, that you were nominated instead of Judge Clement because she had qualms about capital punishment for Molly
    Ivins, Helen Thomas, and Valerie Plame?

    Andrew (d74598)

  16. Oh, by the way . . . . Judge Roberts, which clause of the Constitution is it that gives Patterico the right to omit confirmthem from his blogroll? :-)

    Andrew (d74598)

  17. The National Association for the Advancement of…

    NIF – A now recovered, slow-start Monday

    NIF (59ce3a)

  18. Judge Roberts, would you hold reading Mr. Sturm’s questions to be violative of the prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment?

    kyle (dca2a1)

  19. Well! I, for one, think these 10 essential questions should be asked of a future Supreme Court Justice, preferably by Ted Kennedy.

    1. What is your favorite word?
    2. What is your least favorite word?
    3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
    4. What turns you off?
    5. What is your favorite curse word?
    6. What sound or noise do you love?
    7. What sound or noise do you hate?
    8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    9. What profession would you not like to do?
    10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

    Lesley (777f5a)

  20. Mr. Roberts – since everyone knows that Al Gore won the election in Florida, would you have done the right thing and elected Gore by your vote on the court or would you have been partisan?

    Boman (c7255d)

  21. Mr. Roberts, since everyone knows that Al Gore tried to cynically obtain a recount only in those heavily Democratic counties in Florida where he was most likely to scrape up additional votes, you would have voted to continue with the phony recount even beyond the deadline for safeguarding Florida’s electoral votes, right?

    Andrew (d74598)

  22. Lesley #20,

    If I remember correctly, questions such as the ones you propose regularly accompany revealing photographs of certain fortunate questionees. Not sure I recall Judge Roberts in that particular magazine, though…

    AMac (b6037f)

  23. Re: #22:
    That must be the same “everyone” Pauline Kael knew.

    kyle (dca2a1)

  24. Judge Roberts, if the Court were deadlocked on a Kelo-related decision, would you vote to turn the land into a hotel or a strip mall?

    directorblue (bb8032)

  25. Oh, this is entirely the wrong place for this contest. Seven of the Democratic senatrices are sponsoring a website Ask Judge Roberts in which we the people are told, “The Supreme Court has the last word on issues that impact all of our lives. It is the institution that we rely on to uphold fairness and justice and protect American values.

    Judge John G. Roberts has been nominated to fill the vacancy left by the retirement of Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. This is a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land. Americans are curious about where he stands on the issues that will impact their lives like the environment, their right to privacy, corporate and business practices, the education of their children, the health care of their families and their civil rights.

    As Senators, we believe it shouldn’t only be Senators that get to ask the questions this time around. We want the American people to have a voice. We want to know what you care about the most. Help us let the Judiciary Committee know the questions that are on every American’s mind.

    Thank you for your help!”

    I believe that we ought to help Senatrices Boxer, Clinton, Murray, Landrieu, Stabenow, Mikulski and Cantwell by submitting questions we would like them to ask Judge Roberts. Go ahead and clog up that website!

    Dana R. Pico (777f5a)

  26. “…we the people are told, “The Supreme Court has the last word on issues that impact all of our lives. It is the institution that we rely on to uphold fairness and justice and protect American values.”

    Now, was that, “A government of the Court, by the Court, and for all the rest of us.”???

    MD in Philly (b3202e)

  27. Petterico– I very much object to the conditions of this contest. Firstly think of what damage to our mental/physical health you are requiring of us. To have to think like a liberal could lead to God knows what–impotence, meglomania, or worse (think cowardice, contrariness or plain old dog in the manger). Secondly how do we know this is a fair contest? Some of these posters may have stolen the talking points of Senator Kennedy!!!!! Thirdly the prize for winning this contest has not been properly set forth. I propose the winner be given the choice of receiveing a one years subscription to the New York Times, a one months subscription to The Nation or having his toe nails pulled out –which ever the winner believes is less painful.

    john (fb05db)

  28. Can you at least promise that your new robe will look like Obi Wan Kenobi’s?

    Pat Patterson (75f1f6)

  29. Mr. Roberts, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

    Malicious (f30f7a)

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