NBC: Nothin’ But Condoms!
When I get unwanted ads for North Korean Viagra in my e-mail inbox, it’s spam and it’s against the law. When I get annoying popups for sex sites while surfing the web, I assume I have a virus on my computer and try to fix it. Microsoft’s technicians-and probably thousands of others in Silicon Valley–are devoting enormous resources to eliminating these problems through both technical and legal means. They’re not happy about the situation, and they want me to enjoy the internet without having to deal with extraneous crap like that, so they’re trying to fix it.
Meanwhile, Warren Bell over at NRO tells us that the condom ads on the WB, and on the NBC (why skimp on definite articles here?) are a feature, not a bug, and if it bothers us we should just deal with it, or perhaps invest in a TiVo and spend extra money and time editing the TV feed ourselves. Or make sure my kid doesn’t come around at all during prime time. Or mute the commercials, corral the tot or run her out of the room when they show the ads, make up a story about how they’re actually medicine, something. But for the bright guys in TV land, it’s my problem to deal with.
You know, it’s not the ads themselves that bother me so much as this arrogant attitude that I’m the one with the problem here, and I should just be thrilled with whatever the network hotshots think I ought to like.
Sorry, Warren, it’s just not worth the trouble for me. The solution I will use is the “off” button.
UPDATE: It’s like they just come into my living room and pass gas. The smell isn’t pleasant, but it’s the presumption that rankles. Especially when they recommend that I invest in air freshener if I don’t like it.
UPDATE II: Warren Bell himself has kindly dropped by and left a civil, gas-free response in the comments! I’ll put up a response late this AM.
Ah, forgive me Patter-EE-koh because I’m obviously culturally disadvantaged but who the &%$# watches WB or NBC anyway? I have a 7 year old who watches PravdaKids (no commercials) and Looney Tunes when I’m not home (with a Standing Order to TiVo commercials) and FNC when I’m home at night. The boy is more fair and balanced that I was at 18 years old. Get the youngin’ DirecTv and the mind you save may be your own. xx oo
Arnold Ziffle (63a84e) — 6/5/2005 @ 2:03 pmThe post was by See-DUB-ya.
I gotta figure out a way to make that clearer.
Patterico (756436) — 6/5/2005 @ 3:28 pmYou want I post a disclaimer?
I think it’s an inevitable hazard of guest bloggers on what is not ordinarily a group blog.
Maybe if you could figure a way to display the names of the various contributors in different colors…me in blue, Daf Ab in orange, etc…
See Dubya (13ab1e) — 6/5/2005 @ 3:40 pmIt’ll make no diff. Guest bloggers are too stoopid.
Arnold Ziffle (63a84e) — 6/5/2005 @ 3:56 pmHold on! That’s not what I meant! I meant to say that I’m too stoopid to notice the author’s name. Guest blogging is fine. Sorry about that. Please don’t flame me.
Arnold Ziffle (63a84e) — 6/5/2005 @ 3:58 pmIf your response to network policies is using the “off” button, I wholeheartedly applaud. Vote with your wallet — what could be a more classic conservative response? They’ll get the message quicker that way, and we (the Right) are spared the accusation of “censorship.”
As someone who I suppose you are describing when you say “network hotshot,” I can tell you that my attitude is not “you’re the one with the problem.” My attitude is that this is a business, we have a choice to run it a certain way, and then you have a choice to respond. My choice as an adult is to not care a whit about condom ads, except if my kids see them. And my choice as a parent is to get proactive about protecting them with every means possible.
I’m not sure how that qualifies as “arrogant.”
Warren Bell (823033) — 6/5/2005 @ 4:01 pmWell, there are two things here, huh? There’s “We have a choice to run our business however we want” and then there’s “Let’s do things that don’t piss off our customers.” Both considerations are legitimate, I think.
Personally, I don’t care about condom ads either. But I don’t have small children in my house. I respect the fact that people who do have small children often think about stuff that I have the luxury of being able to ignore.
Jeff Harrell (a5b150) — 6/5/2005 @ 7:19 pmwait, you’re worked up over condom ads?
actus (3be069) — 6/5/2005 @ 7:28 pmMaybe I’m immature too, but tampon and ads mentioning diahhrea bother me too. If these truely don’t bother people, lets add tampon and diahhrea to great films like Star Wars. “Luke get your light .., oh just a minute, let’s think about diahhrea for the next 10 seconds, and tampons and condoms too.”
Ladainian (91b3b2) — 6/5/2005 @ 8:11 pmJeff–exactly. And I’m certainly not denying that the networks have the right to run their business, although I think they have a special obligation be cause they have a federal charter to use the public airwaves. I’m not talking about getting the FCC in here–the stick up my backside isn’t quite that ponderous, and no wardrobes malfunctioned–but I hope (in vain) that networks will take that responsibility seriously.
Actus–Yes, more or less, but I hope you see the distinction I drew in my analogy of the guy who comes into your living room and breaks wind. The smell is mildly unpleasant but goes away quickly, and in a different context would barely be noticed. In this case, the irritation of the actual condom ad is negligible. The problem is the effrontery of the guy doing it in your living room, during prime time.
Ladanian–Bingo. same principle. No one wants to be reminded of that “not so fresh feeling” during a dinner in front of the TV. It breaks the mood of whatever you’re watching, and if you’re in mixed company it’s kinda icky.
Imagine, for example, you watch a little TV with your girlfriend at her parents’ house and there’s a commercial break and here comes Ribby, the animated Macktastic Prophylactic, singing and dancing about his patented Reservoir Tip!
I submit that that would be awkward. Especially when your girlfriend’s mom turns to you and says, “I hate those things; they always break”.
See Dubya (13ab1e) — 6/5/2005 @ 10:35 pmWarren, “we (the Right) are spared the accusation of ‘censorship.'”
I couldn’t agree more but you do know that we will be accused of censorship anyway simply because we had the audacity to advocate action with economic consequences.
The Cialis adds that have fairly extensive discussions about the “quality and duration of erections” are my “favorite.”
Harry Arthur (b318a5) — 6/5/2005 @ 10:55 pmI think the comedians say: “Call my doctor?! If I have an erection that lasts more than four hours, I’m callin’ EVERYONE I KNOW!”
Patterico (756436) — 6/5/2005 @ 11:07 pm[…] Warren Bell, of both NRO and ABC, took the time to respond to my rant about prime-time condom ads below. Check what I said. Here’s his respon […]
Patterico’s Pontifications » Warren Bell Tolls (0c6a63) — 6/6/2005 @ 1:24 am