Patterico's Pontifications


My Daughter Says the Darndest Things

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 6:04 am

You gotta have a healthy ego when my four-year old daughter is around.

My parents are visiting, and last night we ate my mom’s patented enchiladas.

Lauren: “I like enchiladas!”

Me: “Yeah, but if you eat nothing but enchiladas, in 20 years you’ll have a big, huge behind.”

Lauren: “Is that what Mommy eats?”

Turns out it was not a comment on my wife’s physique (as you would know if you had met my wife), but a complete non-sequitur: Lauren just wanted to know if these enchiladas are like the ones Mommy gets at the store. Still, it made for some good-natured ribbing around the dinner table.

Of course, Lauren made some comments to me the other day that my wife can always throw back in my face:

Lauren: “Daddy, you’re skinny!”

Me: “Thank you, Lauren!”

Lauren: “You’re welcome! Do you know why I said that?”

Me: “No, why?”

Lauren: “Because I didn’t want to say that you’re fat, because that might hurt your feelings!”

Art Linkletter imitation ends now.

(For the record — because I’m feeling defensive here — I am 5′ 11″ and weigh 155.)

9 Responses to “My Daughter Says the Darndest Things”

  1. D-OH!!!!

    That’s classic!

    Laudio (06d15b)

  2. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, fatty. 😉

    Christopher Cross (315b04)

  3. Are you feeling well? You weigh 5 pounds more than me! Maybe I’m getting rotund…

    Hugo (41f7f0)

  4. What Hugo fails to mention is that he is several inches shorter than I am.

    Hugo, you used to weigh about 125. What happened?

    Patterico (f7b3e5)

  5. The world’s slowest puberty, Pavel Tsatsouline, jiu-jistu, and home cookin’, YEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
    I’m just a fattie-boombaladie.

    Hugo (36c2dd)

  6. I have seen both Mr. and Mrs. Patterico in person and can provide independent verification of Patterico’s claims.

    steve M. (daf5c5)

  7. Hey — were you looking at my wife’s behind at dinner?!?!

    Patterico (f7b3e5)

  8. Miller’s Twelve Pack…
    It is my hope that you are looking forward to celebrating America’s Independence as much as I am. To get you started on the long weekend, here is the Twelve Pack:

    Miller's Time (28eb22)

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