(With apologies to Jeff G. of Protein Wisdom. This post is little more than a blatant ripoff of Jeff’s Ted Kennedy interview, which is much funnier. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery . . .)

Carl Levin was born in 1934, in Detroit, where he graduated from Central High School. In 1956, he graduated with honors from Swarthmore College, and from Harvard University Law School in 1959. He practiced and taught law in Michigan until 1964, when he was appointed an Assistant Attorney General of Michigan and the first general counsel for the Michigan Civil Rights Commission. He won election to the Detroit City Council in 1969, becoming President in 1973. In 1978, he won an upset victory over the number two Republican in the U.S. Senate. He was re-elected to a second term in 1984 and to a third term in 1990, and his fourth term in November of 1996.

Levin is the senior Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, and a member of the Small Business Committee. He also serves as the ranking member of the Government Affairs Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, as well as of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence. An outspoken critic of the war, Levin agreed to sit down with Patterico recently. Here is the interview:

Patterico: Senator, good morning.

Levin: Good morning.

Patterico: Senator, you have been a vocal opponent of the Iraq war. What do you think the United States’s strategy should be at this point?

Levin: I was an opponent of the decision to authorize the use of force against Iraq. President Bush and senior members of his Administration maintained that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction in violation of United Nations’ resolutions. Obviously, this has proved not to be true. They argued . . .

Patterico: Of course, even the United Nations agreed that Saddam Hussein had WMD at one point. The real question is —

Levin: Yes, but the Administration also argued that U.S. intelligence demonstrated that Iraq still possessed WMD in early 2003, and that Iraq therefore posed an imminent threat to the United States and its interests at that time. I spoke out, to you and others, arguing that in fact the threat was not imminent . . .

Patterico: I’m sorry, Senator, but I notice that you’re not reading a statement.

Levin: Uh — no, I’m not.

Patterico: In that case, would you mind taking your glasses off? I hate to get us off-topic, but they’re distracting me. They’re just kind of sitting there on the end of your nose, and it’s hard for me to pay attention to what you’re saying. Could you just take them off?

Levin: I’d prefer not to, Patterico. As I was saying, the use of military force against Iraq was inappropriate given the absence of the support of the international community, through the United Nations Security Council. We treated the U.N. Security Council as a stumbling block rather than as asset . . .

Patterico: Again, I hate to interrupt, but aren’t those reading glasses?

Levin: Yes, they are.

Patterico: Well, that’s why I’m asking. After all, you’re not reading anything. They can’t possibly be helping you to see anything; I mean, they’re just sitting there on the end of your nose.

Levin: Now, I offered an alternative resolution that would have authorized the use of force against Iraq pursuant to a United Nations resolution, but would have required the President to return to Congress for a specific authorization if the United Nations Security Council failed to adopt such a resolution.

Patterico: You know, now that I think of it, I don’t think I have ever seen you without those reading glasses on. And they’re always sitting on the end of your nose, just like that.

Levin: Well . . .

Patterico: I think we have some file photos here so we can show our readers what I’m talking about. Let’s see . . . here we go. Yup, here you are with those damn glasses on again. Doesn’t look like you’re reading here:

Patterico: Or here:

Patterico: It’s starting to look to me like you’ve made a calculated decision never to appear in public without a pair of reading glasses sitting on the end of your nose. Here we have another picture:

Levin: Well, now wait just a –

Patterico: There, look! You have the damn things on in this one too!

Can I ask, do you wear them that way deliberately, or do they just slide down your nose? Because in every picture they seem to be balanced right there on the very tip of your nose, like this:

Levin: I’d really like to get the discussion back on track. Look, in the aftermath of the use of force against Iraq, and amidst ongoing stability operations during which U.S. forces are sustaining casualties on almost a daily –

Patterico: What would be the reason for insisting on wearing these things, if you don’t mind my asking? They make you look like a librarian. Look:

Patterico: Do you see what I’m talking about?

Levin: No.

Patterico: Have you ever been a librarian?

Levin: I really —

Patterico: Do you keep them on a chain, so that you can hang them around your neck when you’re not using them? You know, like a librarian? I mean, otherwise, what keeps them from falling off? Oh, wait — I see. You have a tremendous bump on the end of your bulbous nose, which prevents the glasses from sliding off the end. Let’s show that to our readers:

Patterico: You’re looking a little angry there, Sen. Levin. Does it have something to do with the glasses?

Levin: I think the relevant point is that the upcoming June 30 date for the transfer of power is completely arbitrary, and is more a function of political –

Patterico: I don’t see a chain here either . . .

Patterico: I guess if you used the chain, then that would imply that there might be times when you’re not wearing these things on the end of your nose. And apparently that just never happens.

Levin: You know, I’m starting to get the impression –

Patterico: If I’m not getting too personal, do you take these things off when you shower? How about when you sleep? Do you have a pair of reading glasses sitting on the end of your nose when you make love to your wife?

Levin: All, right, that’s it. [Gets up.]

Patterico [shouting at Levin as he walks away]: I really recommend that you try giving your nose a rest, Senator. It looks like the glasses constantly rubbing on the end of your nose might be giving you a boil:

[Sound of door slamming.]

Patterico: Well, I guess that’s it for this week’s interview. Please join us next week, when we interview Senator Joe Biden about the upcoming presidential campaign, and ask him what the deal is with his hair.