Patterico's Pontifications

12/28/2003

HOW TO DEAL WITH TAILGATERS

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Patterico @ 2:40 pm

Rosemary Esmay doesn’t like it when people drive too slowly in the passing lane. The way she expressed the sentiment, however, leads me to believe that she and I would not get along on the freeway (expletive deleted by Patterico):

If someone is tailgaiting you in the left – you’re going too slow. Don’t get huffy. Don’t get indignant.

GET THE F**K OVER!

That is the rule.

If I have to pass, your slow ass, on the right — I will cut you off. If my kid isn’t in the car, I’ll do my best to make you crap your pants in the process.

Rosemary calls this a “public service announcement.”

I agree with Rosemary that people should not cruise in the fast lane at a low rate of speed. I do not do that, and if I catch myself doing it, I will move out of the way once I realize it.

But not if you tailgate me.

So here is my public service announcement: there is no excuse for tailgating, and no excuse for people who deliberately cut other people off to make a point.

If you tailgate me, here is what I’ll do. I will not move out of your way. I will slow down. I will stay exactly abreast of the car next to me so you can’t pass either of us. If you continue to tailgate me, I will choose that moment to clean my windshield. Here’s hoping you just washed it, because now it’s dirty with the crap washing off my windshield.

I love doing this. It makes me feel like a dog raising his leg to express his feelings on your car.

What’s more, if I can think of other safe ways to make you miserable, I will do those too.

If you are the kind of person who deliberately cuts me off because you don’t think I was going fast enough, you are a menace, and you are going to cause a wreck some day. You probably didn’t give me enough time to realize that I was holding you up before you started tailgating me. You were probably whipping in and out of traffic, and whipped from the number two lane to the number one lane, inches behind me, and got upset that I didn’t crash into the car next to me to get out of your way fast enough.

I am not suggesting that Rosemary is this sort of driver, by the way. I assume that her comments were hyperbolic, and that she doesn’t really behave this way on the road. But if she does, I urge her to change her ways. Slowpokes are just irritating, but speed kills — all the time.

UPDATE: Rosemary confirms (in the comments and in a new post on Dean Esmay’s site) that she was simply blowing off steam and doesn’t really drive like that. I suspected as much. Anyone who can write a post as good as the one she wrote about leaving the Democratic party has more sense than to deliberately endanger people’s lives on the road.

POST ON DEAN

Filed under: 2004 Election — Patterico @ 12:06 pm

The Washington Post has a compelling editorial today slamming Howard Dean. Among the adjectives used to describe Governor Dean or his positions: glib, condescending, hypocritical, and disingenuous.

Yup, that’s him in a nutshell. But they forgot “smug.”

I especially liked a quote the Post dug up from an August interview. After talking about giving Democrats some “red meat,” Dean said: “I won’t be talking like this during the general [election], if I get the nomination.”

That’s the kind of thing politicians all think. Few are arrogant enough to say it out loud.

What a putz.

UPDATE: Thanks to Mahalo (who I assume was Xrlq in his “Mahalo” disguise) for tipping me to my duplicate entry on this topic. Apparently I felt so strongly about this that I needed to say it twice. Stupid Movable Type. I meant to leave his comment up, but apparently I deleted the wrong post.

DEAN FLIPS AGAIN

Filed under: 2004 Election — Patterico @ 11:53 am

Howard Dean can’t stop flippin’ or floppin’. Now he is saying that he would support the death penalty for Osama. That’s quite a bit different from what he said a few weeks back, when he claimed it would be perfectly fine for Osama to be tried at the Hague — where convicts can’t be sentenced to death.

YOU GOTTA LOVE HATE

Filed under: Current Events — Patterico @ 9:24 am

As the death toll from the earthquake in Iran tops 25,000, the New York Times reports: “Government spokesmen said that foreign aid workers would not need entry visas and that aid would be welcome from everywhere but Israel.”

Lovely.


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