Patterico's Pontifications

12/4/2003

NEWS FLASH

Filed under: Terrorism — Patterico @ 8:44 pm

In breaking news, Fox News has a story with the shocking headline: FBI: Terrorists Could Use Planes as Weapons.

TRUTH IS MORE IRONIC THAN FICTION

Filed under: Morons — Patterico @ 8:04 pm

In a story that sounds like a parody but is not, the Dog Trainer today reports that a rap label previously called “Murder Inc.” has changed its name to “The Inc.”:

“It seems as though no one is really looking at the talent,” label chief Irv “Gotti” Lorenzo said at a news conference in New York, where he was joined by label stars Ja Rule and Ashanti. “All of these big records, and people would still come back and focus on the negative word ‘murder.'”

You can’t make up stuff this good.

P.S. Tends to remind one of the rapper named C-Murder who was convicted of — well, I’ll let you guess.

FEDERAL PROSECUTOR MURDERED

Filed under: Crime — Patterico @ 6:37 pm

This is disturbing. (Via How Appealing.)

BRITS EXPLAINED

Filed under: Humor — Patterico @ 5:55 am

Via Dave Barry’s Blog comes this story, about people deliberately ingesting worms for medical reasons. The story has so many priceless quotes that one is tempted to advise readers (InstaPundit-style) to Read the Whole Thing.™

For example, the doctor who recommends this therapy says:

People have what I consider an irrational fear of worms. Nobody wants to go to the toilet and look into the toilet and see something wiggle.

How utterly irrational. Another good quote:

Another person feeling the benefit of a worm infestation is academic researcher Alan Brown . . . Dr Brown examines his own faeces under the microscope to try to gauge how many worms currently reside within him.

“Given the number of eggs there, there’s about 300 hookworms in my guts.”

Can’t you hear the pride in his voice?

Finally, the story offers this insight: “One third of Britons carry the toxoplasma parasite in their brain.

I have no idea what the “toxoplasma parasite” is, but I feel oddly certain that this parasite is somehow responsible for much of the confusing behavior displayed by many Britons as of late, including:

* Those statements by the mayor of London that George Bush is “the greatest threat to life on this planet” whose policies will “doom us to extinction”;

* The actions of the Britons who toppled George Bush’s statue in Trafalgar Square; and

* Eating kidney pie.

UPDATE: As you can see, Patterico’s Pontifications just posted priceless phrases from a piece about people across the pond proudly partaking of parasites. What luck that Venomous Kate’s letter of the day is “P”!

WELCOME

Filed under: Bear Flag League — Patterico @ 5:55 am

Welcome to new Bear Flagger Little Miss Attila.


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